FFFF-Plop- The Creation of a New Sport

It has been pointed out that it has been many moons since I have delivered a 50 for 50 post.  There is a main reason for this which will be detailed in a later blog, but until that post is finished I will entertain you with this morning's adventure.

What's a Hazel?

It started like any other morning.  I, bleary eyed from getting up in the night to let out Hazel, roll out of bed to let the other beasties out to relieve themselves.   I never worry about Ferg, as he is safely secured to the front rail with a tie out rope.  The other two are a different story.  Whisper, proving she is a bird dog through and through, has a fascination with ducks.  There is a family of ducks that is living two doors down.  I can see you all doing the mental math... bird dog.... ducks... this scenario is ripe with possible disaster.   On any given day there is a 50% chance that Whisper will listen and stay in the yard which means 50% of the time she pulls a Usain and bolts two doors down or out into the park in a mad dash attempt to go a huntin'.  Yes there is nothing like yelling "Whisper" to start ones day! 

Now the trainers who are reading this will say the easy solution is to put her on leash and I agree.   The only problem is she will not do her business when on leash unless it is during a long walk and call of nature overrides her brains fixation on being attached to me.   Given I don't always have the time to do a long walk in the morning and I don't particularly like to freeze my giblets off waiting for her not to go when on the leash, only to go when she goes in the house, I have had to modified my expectations.  My goal right now is to improve her reliability of staying in the yard by experimenting.   Where in the yard is the threshold/boundary that improves the odds that she will stay put while doing her business.  I am happy to report that we discovered the threshold this morning.  The celebration was short lived, because as life would have it when you solve one problem another pops up.

Hazel, who has been fantastic staying within the confines of the yard, was drawn to a coffee cup on the road.  I tried calling her back but she took off for the cup.  I was in hot pursuit and as I leaned down to scoop her up my foot slipped. A thin layer of snow covered the icy mud puddle beneath the cup.  I went down hard and my weighty arse broke the surface of the ice and sank into the ice hole.  

There I lay, trying to defend the spilled coffee from Hazel and  Whisper, who decided to join the fun.  All the while my pants continued to soak up the frosty moisture of the puddle.  FUN,  FREEEZING... FFFFF were the words of the morning.

I somehow managed to keep dogs both away from the frozen coffee treat while extricating my sodden butt from the puddle and returning to a respectable upright position.   As I trudged back to the warmth of the house my attention was split between trying to keep gravity from pulling my droopy drawers down and taking stock of all my new aches and pains.    The grand tally was : a nasty ice gash to my right thumb, a scrape on my left palm and a very sore left wrist which is most likely sprained.

I took one last look over my shoulder at accident scene and that is when I realized another poor unsuspecting sod also had an early morning ice-capade.  Beside the spilled coffee cup was the brown cup holder.  He/She was probably tra-la-laing down the street regaling in the quiet of the early morning, enjoying sips of their hot beverage when their foot hit the ice and they when ass over tea kettle up in the air landing on the hard ground sans coffee.    Two unsuspecting fools having their blissful mornings hi-jacked by snow covered ice.

This and the snow mould are reasons why I do not like spring!!!!''

So there you have a new sport has been created FFF- Plop.  It has all the excitement and fast paced action of ice hockey but combines it with water sport and coffee drinking as well.  I don't think it will take off but who knows.  

Update:  I just went outside to take a picture of the sporting arena and someone had already cleaned up the coffee cup and holder.  My butt hole has also iced over.  But low and behold what did I find... the original ice tumbler lost $3.05 when they fell.  My wet feet to retrieve the moolah were worth it!!!  Just like that I graduated from being an amateur FFF-Plop player to a professional!  It must be my natural talent for falling.... I always knew I could parlay it into cash.

Well off to start my laundry and ice my wrist. 

Dear Friend Jan 2022

Dear Friend:

As I stood in the living room looking around I realized what I should be doing is cleaning the house, but you know me, I never want to do what I should be doing and strive to find a replacement activity to justify why I'm not doing the "should".  It didn't take long for me to come up with an alternative plan-  writing a letter to you.

Bill getting hygge with it!

I hope you are surviving not only this Covid wave but the January drearies.  It's always anti-climactic
taking down the lights and decorations and returning to the same ole' same ole'.  That, added to the dark mornings and early evenings always makes me want to disappear into my room with a blankie, jammies, book and a hot toddy and not reappear until the summer.  The cold snap has not helped, as it has dampened the length of time that I can spend outside with the horses before frozen fingers and toes drive me back to the comfort of my heated vehicle.  

How has your return to work gone?  Mine wasn't as bad as I thought, but I still would not turn down a chance to switch to a one-three day work week.  Sadly, my lotto numbers are not panning out, so I must cling to the little joys to get me through the week, like getting to see my marvellous co-workers and celebrating the small victories (mine and others).   I don't think I will ever not get excitement goose bumps when a child is finally able to independently tie their shoelaces.  Such a win!

Hello toes... my ole' friends!

You are probably wondering how my 5-0 plan is shaking out.  I'm happy to report that I just finished Day 22 of yoga and appear to be on track to doing both am and pm yoga for a full month.  Sure there have been a few days when I have contemplated skipping the pm yoga, as my bed and a book were calling.  But I forced myself to stick with the plan and I am never disappointed that I decided to yoga first; bed second.  There is something cathartic about the daily yoga ritual.  It doesn't matter what is going to/has happened during the day... I know that I have 10 minutes of just me time in the morning and 15 at night where I am focusing on the here and now not making lengthy lists of what needs to be done.  I am also excited to report my bendiness is returning... well to the extent that I can be bendy.  I'm thinking this might end up being a routine that I keep for the full year but maybe I will be okay with skipping an evening session every now and then once the month is over.  

Oaks in front of the aspirational wall!

The horse and hound time is also going well.  Oaks is enrolled in basic obedience and rally and Ferg is in advanced obedience (kinda the equivalent to Grade 12 obedience training).  Oaks is doing well in obedience and has his moments in Rally.  He really needs to learn where his body is in space as he tends to get excited and knock over the signs with his tail.  Ferg is rusty as my focus this fall has been on training Oaks.  This week I learned that Ferg does not listen/comply well if he is thirsty or if he needs to use the facilities.  He also has lost his sit/stay and down/stay super powers.  He is the first up and needs me close in order to maintain any semblance of a stay.  You can guess what we will be practicing over the next week.  

All the dog training and the early evenings means less horse time during the week, but I manage to carve out time on Friday's after work and the weekend to go and hang-out at the barn.  Yesterday was a day of victory at the barn.  Sola has pretty much tried to avoid me since I started leasing her.  Initially she would run away as soon as I entered the paddock.  Over time, she started to let me get close but as soon as she sees the halter or the lead rope she peels on out of there.  I've been watching Warwick Schiller YouTube video's to get tips on building rapport, connection and attunement and then I try out the techniques on Sola each time I go to the barn.  Funny enough a lot of what Warwick educates on is also applicable for work... I love when learning is multiple purposed!

Well last night we had a break through.  Sola not only stretched out to get closer to me when I entered the paddock.  She let me  get up close to pet her and she followed me for a short distance when I went to go and see Ingrid.  My heart was singing but I had to keep my cool so that I didn't overwhelm her and set are rapport building back a step or two.   The hope is by Spring she will appreciate me as much as I appreciate her.... fingers crossed.

Sola and her BFF- Torrie "Of the Most Excellent Side Eye"

Ingrid continues to bring me joy.  She runs over as soon as she hears my voice and follows me around.  She has a hard time being patient and waiting for my attention when I am working with Sola, but we are getting there.  Ingrid continues to be curious and is always trying to figure out what it going on with the other horses.  She is also full of hi-jinx.  I received a text yesterday saying she managed to figure out how to get out of the paddock.  It remains a mystery as to how Houdini managed to do it, as all the gates were closed, some even double locked and the fences were intact.  Luckily she is smart enough to keep her exploring close to the barn and the paddock.  

Are you awake yet Moon!!!!

You are probably wondering about Whisper... she has been taking it slow as she is due next week.  I was having some moments of worry and ended up going down a Google rabbit hole when I couldn't feel any babies moving at 6 weeks.  I was starting to think she was experiencing a false pregnancy.  Well Monday morning I finally got my confirmation that there are indeed puppies in her belly.  I could spend hours cradling her belly just for the occasional head butt or kick from one of the puppies,  It is such a thrill and elicits immediate giggles from me every time it happens.   We have one more night together until she returns to give birth.  She is laying on the floor beside me with her protruding Buddha belly tempting me into finishing this letter off pronto.  Be expecting lots of puppy news and pictures in the not so distant future.

How many puppies do you think are in there?

The blogging has gone better than I predicted.  Including this post I am at 8 posts so far this year.  Only 42 left to go.  I am finding I am enjoying the time at the computer creating content.  When I made this goal I was wondering if I would be able to convince myself to return to sitting in-front of another screen considering Covid has turned my job into a 8-10 hour screen/sitfest.  I have been pleasantly surprised that my body isn't protesting... it must be all the yoga and renewed limberness.    I also have come up with a side project that I am working on that also involves sitting at the computer..... I attempting to write a book.  My nephew continually teases me that I am the Boring Auntie.  So I have decided to embrace the boring and write him story about how boring I really am.  The plan is to write a chapter a month with the hope that "The Incredibly Mundane Boring Auntie" is ready to give him as a Christmas present.  I've been working on it a little each week but now looking at the calendar I realize I better chop, chop with the writing, as I have a week left to meet the first self-imposed deadline.

As to the dining room glow-up project..... it has been on the periphery of my consciousness but I haven't taken steps to do anything toward finishing it, other than making a list.   I love the feeling of accomplishment I get every time I see and use the office.  Fingers crossed this feeling will give me the boost I need to continue the work in the dining room.   My goal is to at least get some plaster on the walls this weekend. 

Well that is what has been happening around here.  I miss you loads and wish you health.  Catch-up with you soon.

M

Work, Life, Brie!

It's good to have options to showcase your Brie

A number of years ago I receive two Brie baking dishes for Christmas.  Before that point I had never had Brie and didn't know what to expect.  It took maybe a year before I decided to give Brie a chance and man was I glad that I did.   It didn't take long for me to become a Brie-A-holic.  

Realizing prolonged mega doses of cheese were not good for me or my arteries, I made Brie my Christmas break thing.   Why not!  The Holidays have long been my one time a year to indulge in decadence.

Each year I would look forward to the partaking of the Brie.  The anticipation would build in the days leading up to vacation and I was beyond ecstatic when I selected my inaugural wheel of Brie during the first big holiday shop for supplies.   Baked Brie, blankies and a movie became the best night-in scenario around here.  Imagine my surprise when Hello Fresh had a blueberry brie baked in phylo pastry.... I swooned!  New ways to enjoy Brie... don't mind if I do.

Sadly my love affair with Brie came to a crash and burn ending three years ago.  It was the end of holidays and I was excited to tuck into my last wheel of Brie for the season.  I popped it into the oven and waited patiently for the timer to go off.  I carried that haloed circle of goodness over to the couch and carefully balanced the dish on the couch armest while I re-cocooned in my blankets.  I tucked into the cheese, my mouth watering, anxiously waiting for the creamy tasty cheesiness explosion in my mouth.

Well it was creamy and there was an explosion but not a tasty one.  A powerful wave of ammonia fumes quickly built up at the back of my throat.  Mid-gag I accidentally swallowed the bite.  I couldn't understand what was happening.   I went back to the kitchen and re-checked the package it as a week before the best before date.  There was no mold on the cheese, it looked normal.  

Why the kitty litter taste?

Maybe the litter box needed changing and I just caught a whiff of it when I bite into the cheese.  That had to be it.   It couldn't be bad Brie?   There was nothing to do by to try another bite.  Hmmm- yummy Brieness with just a hint o' litter after taste.   The next bite was definitely more litter than yummy.  But that was quickly followed by many, many bites of definitely full-on yummy.   That convinced me that the initial taste issues had to be environmental smells not related to the cheese.   

Now a smart person would have Googled "Bad Brie" after the very first gag moment, but there are others, who like me, wait until they are done before they even think to check what the internet has to say on the matter.  The final scoop of Brie was full on putrid.  It left me retching and I could no longer blame the slight ammonia whiffs on the cat nor the litter.  I picked up the tablet and typed in these fateful words "Signs of Bad Brie".  

Three guesses as to what came up....

Yup!  Has an ammonia odour to it.  

Fan freakin' tastic I had just ate a whole wheel of rotten cheese.  Nausea and gagging ensued.  I texted a friend to let him know that if I didn't survive it was the cheese that killed me.  I called my brother to lament about my cheese disappointment.   Based on his response, he was dangerously close to peeing himself.  I'm sure my responses didn't lessen the ha ha of the situation....

Bro: "Why did you keep eating it?"

Me: "I thought the smell was coming from the litter box!  The next bite was better!"

Bro: "But after the second bite was off you didn't think... hmmm maybe the cheese was bad???"

Me:  "A little bit but the more I ate the better it got... until the last bite!!!!  Besides I couldn't waste cheese."

To this day, all you have to do is mention Brie to my brother and he laughs loud and long.  That exact moment finally cured me of my Brie lust.  I haven't had it since.  

Fast forward three years.  I receive a text from my brother with this picture and a message "Thinking of you!"

Bro's Jay-Hole message... sooooo funny!

Then for Christmas I receive this from my Mother.....

Well played Mother!

I texted my brother to ask if he told Mom and the both decided to be "funny", or if she unwittingly gave me a gag gift.  It turns out she had no idea of my painful break-up from Brie.  

When I told her, her feedback was "Maybe it's time to give Brie a second chance!".   Bro is all "Yah! I think you should!"  He went on to say "Approach Brie like you approach life and work.... explain away the dodgy bits and concentrate on the good stuff... kinda like you did the last time you ate Brie.... yummmmmm kitty litter!!!!  Work, life, Brie!!!"

So that is what I am doing.  I am grabbing the Brie by the rind and am going to give it another try. Bro thought I should invite friends over so that they could experience an epic Brie failure, but I told him "When I Brie I Brie alone!"  Who wants to poison friends.  Besides I don't share cheese well!

It's taken a few weeks to work up the nerve to jump back on the Brie train.  On the drive home from the
barn last night I was able to talk myself into buying some Brie.  I made durn' good and sure the best by date was as far in the future as possible.  By the time I got home I couldn't do it.  The Brie was shelved in the fridge.  I was telling my brother about the purchase today and he asked how it went.  My reply was "I bought the cheese I haven't made the cheese."  Always quick with the witty repartee he commented "What are you waiting for it to age more???"  

Viola!  Tonights supper Brie and crackers!

If the sniffer dogs say it's okay....

If I don't live to see tomorrow- it was the cheese, it was a yummy way to go and my dogs sniffers are broken!

And the Roller Coaster Ride Begins

When I left you on Friday I was celebrating the gratitude that found me that day.  The rest of the weekend couldn't decide whether gratitude or a "Are you frickin' kidding me???? point of view would come out the victor.  

Mmmmm!

Saturday provided the biggest return on the "I am grateful" scale.  It was my Grandma's 98th birthday.  Yes you read that right... 98.  Now you can see why I think reaching 113 is entirely plausible.  Last year my Grandma moved into a care facility which means it is a challenge getting a hold of her by phone or virtually. Visiting in person has also not been in the cards since Oct 2019, due to Covid restrictions and timing i.e. restrictions tend to be lifted days after my vacation is over.  Well thanks to the amazing Recreational staff at her care facility I was able to FaceTime with Grandma on her Birthday.  It was lovely getting to see and speak with her.  Frankly I have been worried that I would get an opportunity to do so again.  I bought myself a piece of cake to mark the occasion.

I continued expanding my gratitude by heading out to the barn to play with Ingrid and work on building my rapport with Sola.  It was a smidge chilly but well worth the nipping at my nose... cold not horses :).  

Enter Snow Squall Sunday!!!!!

I awoke to wind whistling in through the bedroom window.  A look outside at the blustering, swirling snow convinced my that a return to bed was in my best interest.   Safely ensconced under layers of blankets I succumbed to the allure of... just one more episode of Taskmaster on YouTube.  It wasn't until mid-season two when I managed to do anything more productive than letting the dogs out to relieve themselves.  

Will work for cookies!!!!

What did I decide to do???

Make motivational cookies for work.  The plan, if I can stick to it, is to have a cookie to celebrate the end of the workday for the next month and a bit.   The batch of cookies yielded 36 cookies with 5 BONUS cookies that I ate to celebrate making the cookies... yes you can see this plan has the potential to quickly go downhill fast.  There was a reason Cookie Monster was my favourite on Sesame Street!

Sunday ended up being so lazy that I didn't even consider doing my daily yoga until right before bed.  I didn't want to get behind so I did both the morning and evening yoga classes back to back.  

Cookies made,  Season 2 of Taskmaster finished, two meals and double yoga later,  I retreated back to the safety of my bed and warm fuzzy blankets.  The dogs and I had just settled in when Whisper jumped up behind my head and made a strangled noise.... 

Oh christ!  

She was about to vomit on my pillow.  I quickly pushed her head to the right while pulling my pillow to the left.  She missed my pillow but nailed the bedding, the window sill and the wall and floor behind the bed.  The last thing that I thought I would be doing late last night was laundry and clean-up, but one must do what one must do.  

Oakley couldn't be left out of the fun but didn't want to expose me to a Vomitfest so timed his episode for later that night.  2 am to be exact.  I awoke to him jumping off the bed, which was quickly followed by the guttural packing sound.   Vomit was all over the floor.  He kept moving to a new spot as why spare any part of the floor.  Luckily the paper towel was still in the room from cleaning up from Whisper so I wasted no time in the clean-up.   Oaks wasn't pleased that I was cleaning up his vomit faster than he could re-eat it and he started growling at me.  Words were exchanged. To bad so sad Bub.... science dictates that whatever bugs your stomach once is bound to bother it the second time around.  

I set my alarm for 5:45 am, as given all the Sunday snow there would lots of digging out in the morning.  The plow didn't disappoint.  The bank left at the front of the driveway up mid-thigh and three snow floats wide.  The end of the driveway was slightly lower but equally as wide.  I managed to get the driveway entrance and exit cleared (3km of walking) before I needed to head in for work.  As I walked back into the house I reached into my pocket to grab my wallet.  It wasn't there.  

OHHHHHH FRIDGE!!!  

It was there when I started shovelling.  Did it fall out while I was shovelling and if it did where was it?????? It wasn't lying in any of the snow trails I created in the yard and on the road.  A quick look at the front steps and in the entrance yielded similar results.  Thats when I started wondering if it could have fallen out into a snow bank when I was dumping the snow.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!  

I didn't have time for the worlds worst easter egg hunt.  Frantically digging through snow to find nothing.  I checked and rechecked the entrance, truck, pockets, road, paths hoping that my panic made me blind but nope.... no wallet.  Resigned to the fact that it was looking like I needed to cancel my cards and reorder ID I headed in to get ready for work.  Thank goodness I gave it a little more time as my wallet was safely on a side table in the living room.  

WHEW!

What mess????

The dogs were grand for most of the morning.  Oaks kept himself amused, amassing a treasure trove behind me while I was in meetings.  By afternoon,  Oaks was refusing to share chew toys with Ferg and Whisper and would let them know how displeased he was with their chewing "his toys" by excessive barking and howling, neither of which pair with virtual meetings.  I did get some reprieve from the barking when I gave him the black kong filled with treats. 

 Sadly Oak is about as patient as I am and what is supposed to be indestructible proved to be just as destructible as the red kong.  This led to me having to scoop Kong pieces out of Whisper's mouth during the middle of a meeting.  

Kong Smong!  Red or Black- can't stop Oaks

Slimely fingers- ooooh joy!

When the Kong no longer worked Oak had some quality crate time that he dramatically whined and sighed through.  Thank goodness for mute buttons.  

Let's hope Oaks's first Obedience Junior High class goes better than the start of the morning and tires him out for tomorrow!

Pleasant Little Surprises

Diadem's-  A Blogger Must Have

With my Ravenclaw diadem in place and dressed for success, I am ready to recount all the pleasant little surprises today had in store for me. 

It started this morning when not only did I manage to stay awake after my alarm went off, but I managed to cut down my morning scrolling through news feeds from 30 to 15 minutes which allowed me time to do both a yoga and a core workout.  

I managed to stay on the Swiss ball during my workout and finished with no broken bones or holes in the wall.  

Next came the moment I had been dreading since I thought about it yesterday.  I spent my entire vacation in pants that had stretch waist and drawstring closures.  

In fact, I was pretty proud when I found these at Roots and decided that these would be my new staple clothing items when at home.  

Cozy Comfort Wear

Pants with stretch are so forgiving.... they don't mind if you over indulge in cheese, cookies and other savoury treats.  Stretch pants basically beg you to do so.... "Come on, you know it will be pleasurable!  Holidays are all about indulging!  Treat yourself woman, you deserve that extra cookie.  Celebrate the fact you have stayed awake a full hour already!!!!!".  

"Will or won't the work pants fit????" Was the question that was on my mind as I headed to the closet this morning.  I was hoping the daily workouts, yoga and manual labour helped counter balance all my indulging.

Standing in front of my wardrobe I contemplated choosing my largest pants for a guaranteed win, but I purposefully picked my most fitted pair as they would truly let me know how well I fared over the holidays.   Surprise #4-  the pants fit like a glove!!!  My day would have been made with just this pleasant surprise but the universe wasn't done providing me with joyful moments. 

Did Elsa visit us last night?

I swaggered downstairs, in my fitted pants, ready to conquer the world and low and behold found my next
pleasant surprise.  A surprise that restored my faith in humanity.  Last night I rushed myself to get to bed so fast that I forgot to not only lock the door but to close it properly.  There is sat partially open with the screen door frozen solid.  

NOOOOOOO!!!!

I looked around and realized my wallet, purse, keys and bike were all still in the designated spots.  The dogs and I were still present and accounted for... even the cat remained (although who would want to steal that whiner???).  Thank-you Baby Jesus!

To celebrate this win I headed to Tim Horton's where they had both a plain croissant and a plain old fashion donut available fore purchase (a rarity).  

I also topped up my D-Coke supply just in case my luck didn't hold and headed home to start the process of wading through a month of emails. 

My guilty pleasure

I daringly left the dogs free while on my Tim's run.  Why would leaving dogs free in the house be daring? Well Whisper sometimes uses free time to water my rug and Typhoo Oakley likes to make his own fun which can be shredded paper or......

I came home to find everything was as I left it and there were no puddles to sop up which was an added bonus!

By noon I was through emails and started on discharges.  That is where I hit a little snag, I didn't have access to our charting system.  It ended up that the hard drive for my work computer was replaced over the Christmas break which meant the charting software was no longer available on the computer.  Well this snag turned another pleasant surprise... I not only had a forced mid-day break, in the form of a drive to the office; it also meant I got to see and catch-up with some of my lovely co-workers.

Mid-afternoon two wonderful things occurred:

• I found out that one of the kids I coached in Cross Country Skiing is currently trying out for a spot at the Olympics.  It feels great to have played a small part in his journey to get to this point.
• I found out the heater not only makes the office toasty but it lulls these goons to sleep.

I heart quiet dogs!!!!

Now I'm off to make one of the recipes from the Good Food box that arrived at noon.  I'm looking forward to a delicious meal and an anything is possible weekend!

Vacation I Bid you Adieu!

It's official!  I return to the land of the worker bee tomorrow and am currently fighting back the angst and lament that comes at the end of a vacation.  I didn't realize how burnt out I was until I didn't have a place to be and a schedule to adhere to.  This past month has flown by, mainly because the first two weeks were spent pretty much in a restorative coma.  Small everyday little things like going to get the groceries or shopping for presents was too stimulating and left me feeling wiped out and ready to crawl into bed to nap the afternoon away... which I did.  

Last Vacation Lunch

Days when I didn't need to people, faired slightly better, but it makes me wonder what in store for me when I return to the daily onslaught of peopling (real and virtual).  I guess there is no sense in dwelling on it- what will be will be!

This morning as I revelled in my last day of taking my dang time waking-up,  I made a list of what I wanted to accomplish before I head back to work.  I did well, finishing all but two of the things on my list.  If shopping hadn't been involved, I would have been able to power through to the end, but I lost steam and the desire to continue once I made it home from forced retail therapy.  

Okay maybe it was the large Shawarma lunch that left me desperately wanting a nap... but it was so yummy it was worth every bit of sluggishness I have felt since I finished.  

This had to be the best find of the day......

Ohh Crap.... not Slytherin!!!

It appears I am not the only person who sorts their pets into Hogwart's Houses.... ask and you shall receive!  I thought human clothing sizing can a harsh pill to swallow.... animal sizes are 10X's worse.  Tiny little Oaks is an XL.... you read that right and XL and at that he just squishes into his new T-shirt.  If he had a little beer belly it would be poofing out the bottom.  As it is the shirt rolls up his back and I am constantly pulling it down into place.

I couldn't wait to get home to try it on Oaks, but before I could I needed to take a little trip to the fabric store as a favour to my Mother.  Many, many hours were spent in the fabric store when I was younger, not so patiently waiting for Mom to select patterns, fabrics and other sundries.  There is only so much fun a kid can have in a fabric store, even with an awesome imagination and ability to entertain one's self.  As the minutes ticked away it was not hard to envision a future in which you perished before Mom made her final selections.  So the fact that I willingly entered a fabric store for her  is pretty much a miracle.  She needed me to pick-up camo fleece as apparently the Prairies don't have any left and she needed to restock so that she can keep my nephew in fleece pants.  

In true Mom fashion, she started panicking that maybe the fabric would not be appropriate for pants so she had my brother text me to find out more about the grade of the fabric.  Too late, I had already bought her 6 metres and was lugging the big bag of fabric back to the vehicle.  As it turns out, based on my description she is not longer worried.

Thank-you!

When at the Pet store I couldn't resist purchasing a set of Hogwart's Balls.  Whisper gravitated to the Hufflepuff of course! Ferg was torn between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor and Oaks... well being a true Slytherin he wanted them all.  By the end of two hours Oaks had totally destroyed the Gryffindor ball and after another 30 minutes the Slytherin ball also had gapping holes and had to be tossed.   The Hufflepuff ball managed to escape to the far corner under the couch, so remains safe for the moment.   My Ravenclaw ball is up high in the cupboard.  No one gets to use my precious!!

What to do... What to do

Ferg was the first to tap out of the ball swap game and Oakley used that as an opportunity to lay a Smackdown upon him.  I bet Ferg wishes  the pet store also sells wands so he could "Expecto Patronom" on Oak's a$$.

Slytherin- Game, Set, Match

All the fun and hi jinx finally wore them out and I was able to watch This is Us in peace.  

Never ever wake a sleeping Slytherin!

As time wore on, Icouldn't help but feel I should do at least one more productive thing before taking the dogs out for their bedtime walk.   To motivate myself I popped on my blogging tiara and sat down to write, with the hope that blogging will make me feel a little better about transitioning back to work.  It seems to have worked... but it could also be the power of the tiara!  Notice the hopeful optimism in my eyes... now that I think about it, it could also be gas!!!!

Toodles Freedom!

Editors Note:  I am wearing the new "ugly plaid" shirt that my Mom made for me for Christmas... I guess I shouldn't complain about all that time spent in fabric stores as I obviously have benefitted.  My Mom and I have concluded we have very different definitions of what is "ugly plaid"as I think this plaid is pretty and she thinks my other plaid shirt is the prettier plaid.... it isn't!

Bedtime Tetris Goes Amiss!

Safety warning: This post contains some pretty gross content.  It is advisable not to eat or drink 30 minutes before or during the reading of this blog.

Safety Crew-  Forewarning Blog readers since 2021

As many of my friends, family and co-workers return to work today I am thanking the sweet baby Jesus that I took today off.  Yes, after a month off I am kinda dreading my return to the working world.  But my gratitude this morning has nothing to do with avoiding the inevitable, it is because I was able to sleep-in after a night of very little sleep.  

Jan 3 and the early morn of Jan 4 ushered in gastrointestinal issues.... not mine.. the animals, specifically the cat and dogs.  It seems the cat decided that the pooling of my new curtains on the floor would make a delightful alternative to his litter box.  Being old and arthritic, the walk downstairs is starting to prove to be too much for him and I have noticed he is having more and more poo accidents throughout the house.  By the time I found where he relieved himself, "someone" had cleaned up the mess, but there was still a stain in the curtain to deal with.  Sighing, I grabbed the cleaner and hoped that my $20 find was not permanently ruined.  Luckily the stain came out quick and with the lighting of some matches, the air was cleansed.  

Later that morning I caught a repeat whiff of that same offending odour.  The clock started ticking and I was racing against the dogs to be the first to locate the poo.  I moved from room to room and corner to corner playing a game of hot/cold..... nope the smell is getting fainter..... oooohhh it's stronger.... now fainter.  I was successful in being the first to find the new deposit... a small victory.  What I didn't count on was Ferg being a close second and his insistence re helping with the clean-up in Aisle 7.  He tucked into the sample, like it was a Wagu steak and couldn't understand why I was shrieking and carrying on when I returned to the room with paper towel. 

GAG ME WITH A SPOON!  

Definitely not the way I wanted to start my morning. Needless to say, Ferg had his teeth and tongue brushed twice yesterday.  If only they made industrial strength Listerine for dogs.  

Editor's note:  My Mom was on the phone with me when this all went down and had a few chuckles at my expense.  She felt the topic was too indecent to write about but I pointed out that anyone with pets has probably had their own poo-aficionado story that they have been equally traumatized by.  It is the darker side of pet ownership that they don't tell you about.  There is a reason that I have had to build this barricade around the litter box downstairs.... it's not just for the aesthetics.  

Protective walls of the litter box fort

The rest of the day was a delightful blur of cooking my Good Food meals starting to check work emails and tidying up the house.  If I had known what was in store for me latter that night I would have had a nap!

Good Food- Slow Cooker Beef Bourguignon

Who Pays the Bills???

As many people know from my Facebook posts, the dogs and I have an unofficial competition to be the first to get into bed.  They typically win, as I have to shut off the lights and close the door so the cat can't pester us with his slow stalking and constant narration of what he is doing from the moment he gets off the couch to the time he gets on the bed.... tres annoying!  I am typically left trying to squeeze into any decent sized spot that remains unclaimed.  When this doesn't work, I have to slide and lift the dogs around until I have a spot that I can fit in.  This has been my nightly work-out since I can remember and has become even more intense since the addition of Oakley to the furry herd.  

Well two nights ago I tried an experiment.  I made all three sit/stay while I closed the door, turned off the light and got into bed.  Once comfortable, I gave them their release word..... "FREE".  Man this is my new fav training technique... even though Whisper tends to break, prior to the FREE being issued.  I used it again last night and basked in the space I had around me!  Total game changer.

Sleep was pleasurable until I was woken by the guttural-  Uuuugh, uuugh, uuugh that happens right before an animal vomits.  Poor Oaks had an upset stomach.  Thankfully he is a gentleman and moved to the floor to vomit vs upchucking on the bed.  As I backed away from the scene to get paper towel for clean-up, my left foot encountered something cold and wet.... 

WHAT THE!!!!!!!

At first I thought it was another vomit spot from earlier in the evening, that I happened to sleep through....

NOPE!!!

It was a big puddle of pee.  Whisper's pregnant bladder could not withstand the tsunami of urine that was pressing on it and she let loose by the bed.  

I hobbled out of the room trying to reduce the contact that my pee-soaked foot had with the floor.  Of course my upstairs paper towel supply had run out, so I had to make my way downstairs to get more, after washing my foot off in the tub.  Floor washed and sanitized, I went to return to bed only to find out that all three dogs had taken advantage of my absence and were stretched out over 3/4's of the bed surface.  I tried to move them, but they seem to have discovered that going extremely noodley makes it harder for me to scoot them over.   I demanded that they move.... the response was "Sorry we are sleeping we can't hear you!".  I begged and whined but to no avail.  All that was left for me was the bottom 1/4 of the bed with a little piece on the side.  Resigned to my fate, I grabbed a spare pillow and blanket and proceed to try to make myself as comfortable as possible sleeping basically in an L-shape.  

Ex of the scene post clean-up

As you can expect, this type of positioning is not conducive to sleeping.  I tried reading, hoping that it would bring on the Zzzz's, but it took many chapters before I was remotely sleepy.  Eventually I did manage a short nap until my groaning hip woke my up, insisting that I find a different position.  Unfortunately not one of the dogs had shifted their position during this time... which is rare.  

It was time to put my foot down.  I figured the boys would be easier to move than Whisper who remained fully stretched out with her head on the my pillow.  I started with Oakley who thankfully was relatively easy to slide until he was positioned under Whisper.  Next on the hit list was Ferg.  He did not make it easy.  I poked and prodded him which managed to get him to lift his head off the pillow but his body was not budging.  I eventually had to reach under his hips and back and hoist him up and off the bed, not an easy feat with a 75lbs dog.  

Ex. Smushing by Ferg

Ferg sat by the edge of the bed and was my audience as I stretched out and made myself comfortable in the spot he was just evicted from.  Even in the dark I could read his thoughts-  "Why ya gotta ruin a good thing? I am the innocent one here.... no vomiting, no peeing!!!!" 

Well, pay back is a bugger.  Once I settled,  Ferg jumped back on the bed and instead of going to the free bottom corner  he decided that I would make an awesome sleeping surface.  Normally I am fine with Ferg laying on me, as he is like a giant weighted blanket, but two things made this less than enjoyable last night.  

a) The elbow to my sternum followed by the strong arm to my trachea as he draped over my body. 

b) His constant attempts to lick my face.  No thank-you.... mister potty mouth!!!!

It took turning on my side to buy me some peace and quiet and two more hours of sleep.  

It definitely is going to be a caffeine fueled day!

Escape from Azkaban

I don't know about you but I am a PotterHead, so much so that I try to figure out which House my pets would be sorted into.   Gimli was full stop a Gryffindor.  Ferg and Whisper are Hufflepuffs... although I humour Ferg and let him think he is Gryffindor.  Bill is 100% a Slytherin and according to Pottermore I am a Ravenclaw.  

Oakley has been hard to figure out.  He has Ravenclaw intelligence, which he loves showcasing in lessons,   figuring out puzzles and finding new and inventive ways to entertain himself.  However, more and more I think he is Slytherin with a waxing Ravenclaw moon..... cunning, determined, ambitious, resourceful and self-preservation would definitely be traits listed on his CV.

Whatcha lookin' at?

Yesterday I headed out to the barn, but given Oakley's interest in both the casters of the new office chair and the new drapes I decided it would be in both our best interests if he spent our time apart in his crate.  So I loaded the crate up with toys, a treat filled Kong and Oakley and headed out to the barn.  

I throughly enjoyed my time chilling with the horses.  Ingrid, Jez and I went for a leisurely stroll through the paddock.  Moon, Elvis and Sola figured they were missing out on something fun and it wasn't long before they took a short cut to catch-up with us.  Little did the EMS Posse know that the plan was just to randomly walk around... it wasn't a walk to the barn for treats/grain action.   Ohh what a bitter pill it must have been for the tag-a-longs when they found out that they followed us for no pay out.  

I'm cute and I know it!

I was all mellow and blissed out on the ride home, which always happens after a trip to the barn.  I arrive at the house and blinked rapidly because I couldn't believe my eyes.  Who was longingly looking out the  window.... not Ferg who was free... but Oakley.  

Prisoner of Azkaban

My brain started doing a rapid fire.....

Wait that can't be him????

Didn't I lock him in the crate?

Yes!  I remember putting him in.

Did I lock the door???? Sure... I remember I tested it twice to make sure it was latched!!!!!

Well that's definitely Oaks.... WTF!

I entered the house filled with trepidation.  What new and heinous swath of destruction had he left for me to find?  The scene must have looked like I was trying to navigate through an active mine field.... me tip toeing through the house,  breath held, rapidly scanning from left to right looking for damage and shrapnel from an Oakley escapade.  

Front Entrance-  Whew!  My only pair of running shoes survived and there was no more damage to the bench he was sitting on.... BONUS!

Hall-  Clear

Kitchen-  Clear

Dining room-  A bunch of toys that are human approved for dog use.

I approached the last two rooms with dread.... what would I find????? 

More of the bottom couch flap removed?

Brand new curtains torn down and destroyed?  

Gouges in the newly plaster walls?

Annihilated casters on the office chair??????  

There was an over the top "Good Boy" celebration when I entered the last room and found out that Oakley's hijinx ended with his escape from his crate.  It turns out that he figured out how to open the side door of the crate.  

Azkaban... Where is a Dementor when you need one?

With my anxiety abated, my brain quickly switched to trying to figure how the escape actually occurred.  Here is what I came up with:

I close the door on the crate and triple check it.   

Oakley thinks to himself- "I'll let her think that the Kong will keep me amused and content to stay in this thing."  Looks over his shoulder.... "Yup, she is buying my performance.... Academy Awards here I come!"

Outside door closes and locks.... Oaks breaks out the Marauder's Map that he has stashed under his cloak of invisibility in the back corner of his crate.  

He barks "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He checks the map- "Fantastic she is in the vehicle.  She is driving down the street and is  well on her way out of town. Time for me to get to work figuring out how to get of this wire prison."

He approaches the end door with optimism.... looking at the wire frame trying to discern weakest point.  He grasps the wire of the door between his teeth and shakes it up and down.  

"Nothing.... drat!"  He tries again..... Nothing.  On the third attempt he looks up and sees that the handle is latched in such away that when he pushes it up, it catches on the bar above.   

"That cursed woman is through... there will be no escape through this door! I refuse to be stuck in here against my will.  As Professor Snape is my witness she will not win!"

That is when the light bulb appeared over his head.... he recalls that this particular model of crate has two doors one on the side and one at the front.   

"If I can't get out the front maybe the side will work.  It's got to!   I can't spend many more precious minutes cooped up when I could be wandering free like Ferg."

He crosses his paws and looks up... way up.....

"YESSSSS!"

The side latch is closed but not in the secure position.   Excited by this discovery, he grasps the wires between his teeth, lifts and shakes but the door does not budge.  He sits back and mentally starts calculating the size and weight of the door vs his chopper strength using an algebraic formula he read about the night before.  He quickly realizes that to be successful he will need a lever to help lift the door, as the brute strength of his jaw alone will not be sufficient.   He quickly looks around and finds a toy that can be jammed through the slot and will allow him to step on the opposite end pushing the door higher.  

"Perfect the door raised up 1/2" now all I need to do is grasp the wires and raise it just 1/8" more".... FREEEEDOM!!!!!!  Oh the sweet nectar that is victory!!!!!!!" 

Meanwhile sitting outside the crate is Hufflepuff Ferg cheering him on.... 

"You got this!!!! The next time it will open!!! Look at you go! 1,000 points to Slytherin!"

Oak takes a deep breath and lets out a victorious howl, turns to the Marauder's Map and barks.... 

"Mischief Managed!!!!!"

This post has been edited and approved by House Hufflepuff.  Oakley wants children to know that math matters and can be very helpful at getting you out of jams so stay in school!

My two fav Hufflepuffs.

 

Five- OH!

What a frickin' beautiful morning!  The air is crisp, the sun is shining and the snow is fluffy.  What a fantastic way to mark my return to the land of the project free.  The dogs were confused when I grabbed the leashes and herded them out for a walk around the sniffy block, given walks have been relegated to night time only over the last few weeks.

What is this chicanery?

Daytime walks????

The bonus was an impromptu Golden party during the walk.  A few of the Goldens of the Hood and a visiting Golden converged at the same intersection simultaneously and partying ensued. 

All in all a great way to get the creative juices flowing, hence another blog post hot on the heels of last nights post.

Book Em' Dano Year

I recently hit the milestone of the big 5-0.  Not quite middle aged yet, as the plan is to live to 113, but close enough that it made me start to contemplate what I can let go of and what I need to add to the next half of life to get me to the lofty 113 goal.  

Goal #1-  Adding Bend to my Bendy bits.

Ommm!

Since the ankle fracture resulted in the death of dance, I have noticed that my bendy bits have morphed into Tin-Man bits.  There is actual creaking, cracking and groaning coming from joints and me when I have to do full range of motion movements.  Bend to touch my toes with straight legs... a dream from the past... my knees are so bent that I am in the fetal position.   This coupled with lost balance and coordination (frickin' sprain and fracture) has led to a very unhappy body and Max.  

In an effort to correct this I started dabbling with yoga in the fall.  Yoga is something that I feel I should love but often get frustrated with and then give up.  Being  totally honest, if yoga was just lying in Savasana, I would be all over that like cows mowing down grass.  But NO!!!! They expect you to challenge yourself and hold unnatural positions and poses.  

MONSTERS! 

Well in the name of reclaiming my bendy bits I took a 30-day yoga challenge using "Yoga with Kassandra" on You Tube to help guide me.  I started with the 10-minute morning yoga and after a few days realized there was a 15-minute night time yoga option as well.  It took me longer than 30 days, but yesterday I completed both programs.  

Was it worth it?

It was.  I found that as the weeks passed my bendiness increased and now I can almost sit with my legs stretched out straight in front of me while sitting up with a straight back.  Hurrah!  Oh hamstrings the journey we have been on over the last 50 years- Scoring 0 inches in the sitting long reach in the Canadian fitness challenge in junior high, to the splits in high-school, then back to ultra-tight until discovering Highland Dance in my 20's and now back to seized.   

In fact, I loved the yoga program so much I am redoing the challenge for Jan with the plan to do both morning and evening yoga every day for the full 30.  I'll let you know how close I get to the Gumby ideal at the end of the month!

Goal #2- Creativity

I do enjoy finding humour in crap a$$ situations and composing stories about the humorous side of epic fails and knock 'em down "What the????" moments.  I often do this when walking the dogs but unfortunately they have not invented the cranial USB port that connects my brain to the computer, so these stories and humorous musing tend to be for my benefit only. 

I might live to regret this, but my goal is to produce 50 blog posts over the course of the next year.  Some might be very, very short but 50 for 50 is the ultimate challenge.  Feel free to heckle me if I start falling behind... because we know mocking and heckling are instant motivators for me to put the proverbial nose to the grind stone... just so I can say "Suck It!".

Who knows I might also live life large and find some time to continue to practice my painting skills.

I'm starting to think part of the problem is too many interests

Goal #3- Nature

Having had 50 years to get to know myself better, I know for an exact fact that being outdoors and with animals is my absolute calmness reviver.  Bad day... put on some shoes, grab a dog and go and walk in the bush or around the block.  Feeling overwhelmed??? Grab a tent and disappear into the bush for 5 days... BLISS!   

Ingrid

I recently rediscovered my love of barns and horses and must admit I am kinda addicted to both.  There is nothing more meditative than spending time with a horse.  You have to be present and focused on the here and now or you run the risk of being run over.  With this in mind I declare 2022 the year of the Horse and Hound.   

Luckily,  Golden Pride Kennels/Ranvik Fjords has generously supplied me with access to both.  If dog shows ever reopen the plan is to work toward Ferg's CKC Intermediate Rally Title and CARO Rally Novice Title.  We might even try for his Pre Novice Obedience title..... lofty goal I know!  Oaks will be working toward his CARO Rally Novice Title and if I can get both Oaks and Ferg on the same page maybe even a CARO Rally Brace title for each.  

What about Whisper?

She will be busy having puppies... which means Puppy Time for Max and perma-grin for the 8 weeks that I get to spend with them.  

Whisper's Summer Litter-  My Heart!

As to the horses, the plan is to continue to learn about starting foals so I can help Ingrid progress her skills and to stay on Sola... no more impromptu dirt parties for me!!!!

Goal #4- The Dining Room

What madness has taken over me????  Yes I hope to finish off the dining room update project that I have been piddling with over the last 9 years.  I have been working on plaster repair in this room while working on the office, as I had to do something with the left over plaster on the trowel.  This means I am closer to the finish versus the start of the summer, but the dread of having to strip more woodwork and sand plaster is still too fresh to get super excited about starting this project quite yet.  But don't let me rest on my laurels.  Feel free to ask me about how this project is going and to heckle if you notice I haven't been mentioning how the dining room is progressing, as heckling is my fuel to finish.  

The next project.... I can do this!

So there you have it.  My Big Hairy Audacious Goals for 2022.  Notice that not one of the things that are important to me right now are work related.  I find it interesting, but figure I am at the point where focusing on myself and home outweighs growth at work.  Sure I will still end up growing my skills at work, but it will not be my sole focus anymore.  

Look at that!  Only forty-nine more posts to go! 

CHEERS TO 2022!