This blog is dedicated to my fan Anne.... sorry it has been a while since my last post.
I have the evening off of teaching dance so I thought... why not write a little something. Here I sit on my therapy ball, rocking out to Kings of Leon's- WALLS racking my brain to come up with a topic to write about. The process is hindered by the fact that I am decisioned out, as I normally am by this time of the day. All I really want to do is change into my super comfy lounge wear and curl up into a fetal position on the couch and not think; but I promised myself I would write tonight... so I write!
Luckily the music is creatively inspiring and a topic popped into my head..... How I Spent My Thanksgiving.
For the last three years I have avoided the traditional Thanksgiving in favour of communing with nature. Partially because I love to commune, but mainly because the last Thanksgiving my parents were here was the bestest in all of history and I don't think any other attempt at a traditional Thanksgiving could top it. Seriously there was Mom's stuffing, perogies, pies out the waazoo and there was even a Nerf gun war!!!!
Totally awesome to the extreme...... and sadly never to be repeated, as one of my parents had a stroke the following year and can no longer travel.
The year after the "new normal" began, I figured the way to avoid the melancholia that was threatening to over take one of my favourite holidays was to do something the polar opposite. Gone was spending time with family and in was retreating to the bush to spend time being thankful for natural beauty, challenges and survival. The first two Thanksgivings were spent in Killarney Provincial Park with a friend and her son. Given we were backpacking there was no turkey, stuffing or any of the sides. Our new traditional Thanksgiving meal became a Harvey's burger and fries.... don't ask me why by when I backpack I start craving meat... specifically burgers. It consumes me and I am not happy until I have a burger in hand.
This year I opted for car camping at Lake Superior Park. Now you would think that car camping would be exciting.... camping with the convenience of running water, the presence of amazing snacks, etc. Sadly I found myself lost. I have spent way to long packing and repacking my backpack so that I only leave with have the necessities, it has now become a way of life. The addition of choices was throwing me for a loop and I was at risk of packing everything in the house including the kitchen sink. With the goal to "not over pack" I had to make some big decisions.... that in itself was a lengthy and challenging process as I really don't like thinking after a day of work.... UGGGHHH the thinking! The only way I could convince myself to deal with my dilemma was to do a little each night. In total it took me one week to pack for a short camping trip.... hand to forehead Duoh!
How did I end up making my choices??? Well the thing that was scaring me the most was the food decisions, so I opted to simplify that choice by going with backpacking food augmented with some tasty treats. That juggernaut of a decision made, I was free to concentrate on decisions that focused on survival and entertainment. The bulk of my indulgences centred around bedding, books, jackets and footwear... oh yeah and knitting... can't forget the knitting.
A few days before the trip I was close to backing out. I had an emerging cold and the weather report was rain and lows of zero. As the work week progressed and my stress increased I realized backing out of camping was not an option, even if exposure to the elements pushed my immune system over the edge and I came back with sinuses full of mucus. I needed to retreat, to replenish and refocus. Without the break I would not only have a cold.... I would also have a broken spirit.... which is far harder to recuperate from.
I left town on Friday afternoon in capris and flip flops. As I drove North the temperature started plunging.... 20.. 18... 15. It reached a low of 13 by the time I arrived at Agawa. Then the rain started. I drove up to my site and hung out with the dogs while I waited for a break in the rain. After about 30 minutes the rain stopped and I started the process of putting up the tent. The only problem was the wind. It was so strong, the tent kept blowing away. I had to resort to staking and restaking the ground cover, tent and fly as I added each additional layer. I can now add putting up a tent in gale force winds to my list of accomplishments in this life.
Now you are probably thinking how strong could this wind actually be????? Let me see. It made the tent rock even though it was fully staked. It made the full sized half ton truck rock and I am pretty positive that if I had attempted to fall into the wind I wouldn't have face planted as the wind would have kept me aloft.
Exaggeration?????
I think NOT!!! The wind whipped the tent fly so much it undid the zipper in the middle of the night... yes it was undoing zippers strong..... now that is a very, very, very strong wind. Luckily I had abandoned the tent for the safety of the truck by that time, but I digress.
Setting up the inside of the tent had to be done in fits and spurts as the rain kept making a reappearance and I did not want to risk getting my bedding wet. I must admit by this time I was thinking to myself.... Why am I doing this????? Oh yeah sanity..... good cause.... I've got this!"
Yes, in the absence of people I talk to and answer myself!
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| Taken on day three.... the first non-windy day |
To just be.
Occasionally I would run the truck, more to defog the windows than for heat. During those few minutes I would get to listen to the only radio station that I could pick-up.,,,, a religious station. I learned a lot about the reoccurring numbers in the Bible and about Shabbat that weekend.... it was an inclusive religion station.
By evening the wind continued but the rain had disappeared. It made for some dramatic lighting and picturesque sights with the 10 foot high waves crashing onto the shore. The dogs and I went for a walk to explore the campground, as this was our first time there. It was really nice. While walking I kept scoping out camp sites that might not be as windy, should I ever come back. I thought I had committed the site numbers to memory, I repeated them so much over the weekend, but two weeks later I can't remember one of them. I am hoping that should I ever go back, fate will be kind to me and I will serendipitously select an semi-sheltered site.
I started Friday night in the tent. It was warm enough but after two hours of not so gentle rocking and being surrounded by ripping and roaring sounds.... I retreated to the truck. The boys had the back seat and I the front. It was around this time I mentally high-fived myself for purchasing a full sized truck and for being not mega tall. I could almost stretch out fully when lying on my back which was a totally awesome surprise. I originally started with my head by the steering wheel but after my flailing arm set off the horn, I decided it would be kinder to my neighbours if I switched ends.
I went through the process of reorienting myself in the truck but as soon as I laid down I knew I had a a problem. My feet were higher than my head. I was kicking myself for parking in a pit.
ARRRGHHH!
It did not take long for me to recall that I like to drive with the driver's seat the highest it can go. That would be an easy fix.
Not so!
The task of moving from a hellter-skelter, downward facing tetter-totter position to sitting upright would have been quite simple to perform in my teen years. Now it was very daunting.... gravity is not the friend of the ageless. After a few failed attempts at defeating the pillowy volumes of goose duvet and pre-winter padding I was finally sitting up. Thank goodness for "O Shit Handles" and steering wheels or I would not be blogging, I would still be lying there in that head swelling recumbent position. Seat lowered I was calmed by the knowledge that this simple change fixed my problem. I snuggled back under the mountain of duvet and jackets and drifted off to sleep.
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| I claim this spot..... |
Our posse made it back to the tent by using a series of darts down the road and deeks under trees for cover when the rain started again.
We took shelter in the tent. The dogs stretched out and sighed blissfully. I frantically searched for dry socks. Once dry I settled into the small space left to me by the dogs and knitted and knitted and knitted. My back screamed, my legs lost feeling and I ignored it all. All the mattered was that pattern and changing that yarn into something that could be used for warmth. The minutes turned to hours and I sat there in a meditative state focusing on the only thing that was keeping me sane.... that afghan strip. Bone numbing cold eventually broke my trance like state and forced me out of the tent in search of a hot beverage.
While sitting in the truck, sipping the nectar of the God's- Twinings Earl Grey tea, I turned-on the truck to warm myself. The religion station had a program on that was talking about the ravages of storms, wind and the effect on the sole. I looked out the window and laughed... surrounded by dark sky, rocked by the winds and bitterly cold. I could relate to what they were talking about. The tone of the program then took a turn. It started talking about sun breaking through the darkness and storms passing. Low and behold the sun broke through the clouds and bathed the site with a warm soft glow. The wind died down..... I was now invested in the next line of the show..... we were on to something. It was a magical moment when words and nature coalesced and worked together. The break in the weather could not have come at a more perfect moment. My spirits were uplifted and I was ready to explore some more.
The boys and I headed north to explore a part of the Coastal Trail. I was delighted by the moss and fungi that grew all over the area. Gimli was also delighted by the fungi. He likes to sample.... "Is it poisonous???" He doesn't know, nor does he care..... he eats all that he finds, much to my chagrin. Hence the reason why one of his nicknames is "Truffles".
The reprieve from the weather did not last long. It was like Mother Nature was luring us out into the forest only to unleash her stores of rain once we were the furthest out we could be. Huddling under trees did not work this time, as the rain had moments when it was coming in sideways. My glasses fogged and the water droplets merged to form gigantic blur spots. I would wipe my glasses only to have to repeat a few minutes later.
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| Actually on the Awausee trail but it fit nicely here |
Once over my Grr Arrgh... I started seeing the beauty in how the sun would break through the rain and play with the lighting, the majesty of Superior waves crashing on the shore in a fast rhythmic progression, the lone yellow bench bathed in light with a backdrop of rain. These things mattered and made up for the fact that I was soaking and that it would not be long before I started to freeze again.
Thank goodness for dramatic lighting and for vehicle heating systems. These are the things that become life lines and inspire a "you can do it" attitude when you want to pack it in.
As you have noticed there are no photo's of the large waves and dramatic lighting. Sadly these moments are only mental snapshots in my brain. I was not brave enough to risk the phone.
Sunday brought a break in the weather and a calmness that felt a little unreal. I could hear the transports driving by again and the sounds of the raven inviting me to come out end enjoy the day. The boys finally made it to the dog beach and frolicked with some other Golden's while I looked for stones for my nephew's Christmas present. The dogs made me chuckle with their antics.... running through the water, zipping down the beach and playing games of keep away with sticks. Their coats glimmered a golden hue as the sun shone down on them. LOVE!
Later that day we hiked the Awausee trail. I have hiked this trail once before, so knew there was A LOT of uphill, but man I was not prepared for it. The first .25 of a km wasn't bad but then I started to notice that my legs were starting to feel like Jello and I was sucking wind.... MEGA sucking wind. I would stop to regain my breath and forged forward but the Jello feeling started to become a constant and then I noticed I was starting to loose my peripheral vision. This has only happened a few times in my life and it often is followed by a temporary loss of vision. Not something that you want to be experiencing on a trail..... but be damned if the trail was going to WIN!!!!
I persevered on and it was totally worth it. Here was the view from the top. Okay not quite the top as there was still more uphill after this... but this is the view from almost the top!
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| One of the Awausee look outs |
The fall colours were slightly past their prime but it still made for some dramatic sights as the sun bounced off the leaves and illuminated the various shades of red, orange, rust and yellow. The Boys' were having a hay day as they had a Golden buddy to hike with. As you can see one of the Golden's is consistent in his photogenicness... my two are goomba's.... either close their eyes or look away at the last moment. If I had a dime for every blurry picture of dogs on my phone I would be a rich woman.
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| Gimli, Hudson and Fergus... The Golden Trio |
It definitely felt like there were more uphills than downhills on this trail. In truth though I prefer the uphills as I am less likely to fall when walking uphill than downhill. I had one minor tosser on Awausee when my foot decided it wanted to beat the rest of my body down the hill.... well played foot... well played!!!
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| Look up and to the right... my raven friend |
I stayed for a camp fie after supper. It was so toasty sitting around the fire, but it turned out to be a tactical error. My core temperature dropped with every step I took away from the fire. By the time I reached my campsite I was a solid block of ice. I quickly changed into my three layers of sleepwear, donned two toques, mitts and wool socks. I could not warm-up. I dove into the -30 degree C sleeping bag and covered it with the down duvet followed by the -10 degree C sleeping bag.
No good!
FROZEN!!!!
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| Really... you are soooooo DRAMATIC! |
One minute I was thinking "Shit this is it!" and the next I am waking up to the croak of the raven. It was morning, I hadn't froze to death. In fact I had kicked off most of my coverings through the night.
It's funny how the mind works. When I went to bed I was lamenting that I wasn't at home where there was heat but I woke up thinking- "I don't want to this weekend to end!" How exactly does that work?
The raven returned the next morning. He sat watching me as I packed up and followed us when I took the dogs to the beach to soak up our last minutes of bliss before heading home.
I sat in the sand and watched the dogs explore. They found a 10 foot small tree and worked in tandem to pull it from the water- Gimli on one end and Ferg on the other. Once the tree was free their tune immediately changed from cooperativeness to possessiveness. They both wanted the prized tree to themselves. A tug-a-war ensued until Gimli lost interest and abandoned the tree to Ferg, as foraging for morning fungi took precedence over winning.
Ferg appeared not to enjoy his easy win as it did not take long for him to abandon the tree for a stump that was in the middle of the pond. Ferg wanted that stump badly, but was freaked out by it. He would wade into the water until he was close to stump, then he would quickly retreat to the shore and bark at the stump. I could just picture his conversation with the stump..... "Just come over here.... I won't chew on you!" As much as he wanted to get that stump, his fear of it would not let him get close enough to it attempt to pull it out.
OHHH Ferg!
It took supreme effort for me to pull myself up and head back to the camp site to say my final farewell. My mind kept going over ways to extend the trip and/or come back the next weekend. I did not want to say good-bye for the year. Lake Superior is my touch stone, it helps me decompress, to appreciate what I have (good and bad) and to focus on the moment. It is hard to say good-bye to something that you are so very thankful is in your life even if the parting is for a short while.
As the wind started picking up I took that for a sign that it was time. That my restoration was complete and I was strong enough to face what was coming my way.
We headed back to the campsite... the long way... lingering good-byes are something my family is known for. Along the way my friend the raven came back and paced me all the way to the campsite. What started out as a cute coincidence, quickly turned into foreboding. Was this a sign of something to come???? Was it a good sign or a bad sign?????
Needless to say I drove very carefully all the way home. The dudes were oblivious to my state of angst.
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| Seriously how cute is that!!! |
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| Thanksgiving dinner! |
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