Creatively Hulking Out!

This was a gift..... Just sayin'

One of the things that I loved doing when I was younger was to make up bedtime stories for my younger siblings (it did not happen often but  the few that were told were epic).  This does not happen often anymore because my siblings are grown and the furry herd is not an appreciative audience.  Last year when visiting my brother's family I had an opportunity to dust off ye 'ole storytelling skills and made up a story about the woes of putting Grandma to bed.  What I enjoyed about the experience was the improv.  Other then the main concept of Grandma going to bed, I did not know where the story was going to go.  It was fun watching Mr C's reaction to the story.  Sitting on the couch with his legs pulled up to his chest, slowly eating pretzel sticks.  Mesmerized by the ins and outs of the unfolding story. (Editor's note- Mr. H was a little too young to fully appreciate my story telling genius, but he was also present for the story)

Well imagine my glee when one of the challenges for the change project that I am doing (yup, still at it) was to tell Mr C and Mr. H a bedtime story.  This task was all the more challenging because they live a province away and Mr. C has an aversion to the phone.  

Thank goodness for Skype.

I decided to expand on the Grandma bedtime theme and included Nanny (the maternal grandmother) into the mix.  It was a Grandma and Nanny Sleepover.  This story was a hit (as measured by the fact that Mr. C actually remained in the room and eventually removed his hands from his ears to listen to it). 

A couple of days later I asked Mr. C to tell me a story that included a Grandma, a tent and a Hulk.  He graciously declined with a resounding-  NO!!!!!!  This little fellow does not mince words.

It didn't matter, as my brother and I ran with it.  A grandmother that was transformed by "Granma rays" vs.  "Gamma rays".  We laughed and laughed as we each came up with a new thought as to what  Grandma Hulk would look like; what she would say; what she would do.

Well a week later when I pulled- "Write a story" as one of the challenges, I decided to write about Grandma Hulk.  Here is the result:

The Tale of the Not So Sleepy-Time Grandma Hulk

Prologue

Image from marvel-movies.wiki.com

Have you heard of the Hulk?  Dr. Bruce Banner’s cranky pants alter ego. You know the big green beastie that fights evil with the Avengers. Well if you haven’t, I strongly suggest you Google him.  His crime fighting ways are as impressive as his sheer size and his ability to communicate using a limited number of words.  A gift I wish I had.

What would you say if I told you that the Hulk is not the only Hulk out there? 

When I told Mr. C and Mr. H that I knew of another Hulk, Mr. C said- “Actually, there is only one Hulk.”  Mr. H just silently shook his head from left to right to indicate that I was truly mistaken.

But on chilly July 1^st night Mr. C and Mr. H became believers when they witnessed a transformation so phenomenal they both…..Dun, dun Duuuunnnnnnn! 

(Please feel free to make up and insert your own form of creepy dramatic music, if you don’t like my choice for the cliffhanger.)

Chapter 1 

(This is the only chapter, because it is a short story… .but I had to find a way to separate Chapter 1 from the Prologue to minimize confusion.  If you are confused, my plan didn’t work.  Don’t panic….. proceed to the next paragraph in a calm and orderly fashion.  Whew!  That was close)

It was July 1^st -Canada Day.  Mr. C and Mr. H decided that they wanted to celebrate by inviting Grandma to a sleep over in their tent.  It felt like an eternity while they waited for Grandma to arrive.  Dad explained there was a reason for that- waiting for Grandma can take an eternity. Her morning routines, take longer than the average Grandma-  first Grandma has to wash, dry and curl her hair.  Next comes the mascara and make-up.  Last but not least Grandma always needs to look for something before she can leave the house- keys, sunglasses, her purse, or all of the above.  (See Grandma doesn’t like to be bored, so she plays hide and seek with her things.   Unfortunately for Grandma her “things” are better at hiding than she is at finding them.)  It did not take Mr. C and Mr. H long to realize that when waiting for Grandma-  patience is a MUST!

Grandma was finally ready and started the drive to Mr. C and Mr. H’s house.  She was four blocks away from her house when she started wondering if she turned off her curling iron.  She had to go and check as she did not want to risk burning down the house.  The curling iron was off.  PHEW!

Grandma was off again, moving infinitely slower than the Flash but dramatically faster than a turtle.  

Hokey Dinah!  The story is almost halfway finished and Grandma hasn’t even arrived yet!!!!!

Will she get there in time for the fireworks????  Flip the page to find out. (Editor's note-  in the Word version of this story this part of the story ends at the bottom of page 1.)

Finally, at long last, Grandma arrived at Mr. C and Mr. H’s house.  Mr. H was the first to spot her and communicated his find using a series of grunts and dramatic hand gestures.  Mr. C ran to the window and started yelling “Ohh Yeah! OH OH YEAHHHHHH!” while doing his signature booty shaking celebratory dance.  The fun was about to begin.  

Grandma, Mr. C and Mr. H played Tim Horton’s Drive Thru- a fan favorite game for the 5+ crowd.  Then they ate the gourmet meal Dad had prepared for them-  chicken, but not just any old chicken, it was Mr. C’s fav-  She-can  nuggets (chicken but pronounced with a French accent.  Why?  Because they are gourmet).  Before everyone knew it, it was time to get ready to go pick a spot for the fire works.  

BOOM!

BAM!

FRIZZLE… POP…. POP!

FRIZZLE, BOOM, BOOM, KAPOW, FRIZZLE, FRIZZLE, BOOM, POP, POP, POP!!!

No silly! That was the sound of the fireworks… not Grandma and Dad getting up from the table.  

On the ride home, Grandma and Mr. C oohed and ahhhed about the colors and the spectacular shapes and patterns the fireworks made.  Every now and then Mr. H would chime in with a “Ahhh, oooooo,  Ahhh”.  Grandma and Mr. C knew that Mr. H was as pleased as they were with the fireworks.  

As the car pulled into the driveway Dad turned in his seat and said- “I know you are all excited about the fireworks and sleeping in the tent, but it is bed time.  Last time Grandma slept over, there was TOO much talking and WAY TOO much laughing.  Mr. C and Mr. H I know it was Grandma who was keeping you up, because I have taught you how to go to sleep as soon as you get under your covers.  Your mission tonight is to teach Grandma how to go to sleep just as fast as you.   Can you do it?”

Mr. C replied “Oh YEAHHHHHH!”

Mr. H sagely nodded his head in the affirmative.

Grandma said nothing.  She just harrumphed under her breath.  

Mr. C and Mr. H ran into the house and quickly changed into their pajamas.  They ran outside toward the tent and that is when they noticed Grandma was still in the car.  “Grandma, what are you doing?” Mr. C asked.  

Grandma replied, “ I can’t find my sunglasses.  I had them when we went to the fireworks but now I can’t find them.”  

“Aaah  ummm ahh” said Mr. H while pointing to Grandma’s head.

Grandma reached up and sure enough there were her sunglasses perched on the top of her head.   “Thank-you Mr. H” said Grandma.

With the mystery of the missing glasses solved Grandma went and changed into her nightie and headed to the tent.  

Mr. C said “Grandma, it is our job to make sure that you go to sleep right away. Get into your sleeping bag and close your eyes.”

“I don’t wanna!” said Grandma.

Mr. H pointed at Grandma and then at the sleeping bag “Sissp, Siiispp” was the sound coming from his soother.

“I DON’T wanna!!!!” said Grandma.  “I’ve got an idea how about we play?”

“No Grandma.” said Mr. C “Dad said we had to go to right to sleep.”

NOOOOOOOOOOO! Said Grandma

“Yes Grandma.” said Mr. C

And that is when it happened.

Grandma’s legs and arms began to shake, her hands balled up into giant meaty fists, her face and limbs started turning red, her head wobbled to and fro and her glasses popped off her face and landed at Mr. H’s feet.

Mr. H started to giggle.  Then he started to laugh.  He laughed so hard his whole body was shaking.  Oh what fun to see Grandma acting silly.  

Mr. C wasn’t laughing, though.  He knew he had seen this before in one of his books.  But in that picture, the person was turning green not red.  Could it be?  Was Grandma hulking out?

RRRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP!  The billowy sleeves of Grandma’s nightie fell away to expose her bulging biceps and triceps.    The seams of the tent started to give way as Grandma grew to 4 times her size (some might say that she was topping the scales at 1200 lbs… she was that big).  

“GRANDMA HULK NO WANT SLEEP.  GRANDMA HULK SMASH TENT!!!!”

Mr. C replied “Grandma Hulk think of your choices.  If you smash the tent we will not be able to use it.  That will make Mr. H and I sad.”  Mr. H nodded in agreement.

“Grandma Hulk here’s my deal.  You de-hulk and go to bed and Mr. H and I will sing you a song.” said Mr. C.

“GRANDMA HULK ANGRY….. NO DEAL”

“Grandma Hulk I think you need a time out.  I have an idea!  How about you breathe and count to 10.  I will help you.  Take a big breath in through your nose and blow it out through your mouth, like this.” said Mr. C as he demonstrated what to do.

Grandma Hulk drew in a deep breath, as she did so the sides of the tent sucked in toward the trio.  She exhaled through her mouth.  The force of her breath propelled Mr. C and Mr. H across the tent floor.  Only the walls of the tent stopped them from sailing through the fence and into the neighbor’s yard.  Mr. H thought it was fun. Mr. C was not too sure.   

Grandma Hulk inhaled again-  in went the sides of the tent and Mr. C and Mr. H slide toward Grandma Hulk’s hulking tummy.    Mr. H giggled with glee and signed “More!  More!” repeatedly.  Mr. C looked for something to hold on to.

Grandma Hulk let out her breath.  Off Mr. H and Mr. C went across the tent floor.  Mr. C turned to Grandma and said “Grandma when did you have pizza?  I can smell the pepperoni.”  As he was asking the question he saw that the deep breathing was working.  Grandma was getting smaller and she was now a bright pink vs. scarlet red.  

“Ohh Yeah!  Oh oh Yeah!!!!”  said Mr. C.  “Keep it up Grandma.  It’s working!” 

8 breaths later Grandma had returned to her regular size.  She blinked her eyes and looked down at her torn and tattered nightie.  “What happened?” she asked.

“You hulked out Grandma!”  replied Mr. C. 

“Oh my!” said Grandma.  

Mr. C looked at Grandma and said “Grandma, I know you did not brush your teeth.  Here’s my deal.  You go inside and brush your teeth then when you come out you will get in your sleeping bag, you will close your eyes and you will go to sleep.  Okay guys?”.

“Deal!” said Grandma.

With that she brushed her teeth, got into bed and went to sleep to the soft dulcet tones of Mr. H sucking on his soother, but not before quietly gazing at the stars through the hole in the roof of the tent.

THE END

Editor's Note:  A hulking thank-you to marvel-movies.wiki.com for posting Hulk pictures on the Internet.  Without your contribution to this blog it would have been a whole bunch of blah, blah, blah.  Or I would have had to resort to drawing a stick figure Hulk. Which come to think about it, what would that really look like? A stick figure drawn with 72 pnt lines????  

Thank-you.  Eternally grateful!