Fergus and Other F-Words

I am adorable... Why is she complaining?

Maybe the change in weather has made me cranky and a little less tolerant... maybe it is hormones (Fergus's not mine).  But Fergus seems to have turned into a giant pain in the kester lately.  Thoughts like "I want to banish you for all time", "I love you so much it hurts", "Could you be a bigger goof ball?" are constantly swirling around in my head.   Sometimes the cycle between these conflicting ideas and resulting emotions can be days; sometimes nano-seconds.

Take yesterday as an example.  It opened with a Goof-ballesque morning.  Fergus was running full tilt when he caught a whiff of something that was apparently so enticing it caused him to forget the first law of Physics-  objects in motion tend to stay in motion.

He dropped his head to look for what smelled so good.  The only problem- he had not stopped running.  His head was sucked between his front legs.  His hind-end lifted up and flipped over.   Even the Russian judge would have given him a score of 10 for that somersault.
I laughed.

He lay there with his feet up in the air.... stunned.

This is the type of hi-jinx that started our day.  Sadly it all went downhill from there.

This week, marks the week that Fergus discovered counter-tops and the bounty they behold.  He celebrated his discovery with downing a banana.  He was in the midst of eating his second banana when I found him.  Let me tell you he was not giving it up without a fight.  He clamped down on the banana with such tenacity, pit-bulls would have been envious.  I eventually wrestled it out of his mouth and tossed the slimy, slithery mess in the garbage.   Since that moment it has been game on.  Nothing is safe.

Yesterday's grand tally was:

Fergus:

• 1 Ikea wooden spoon... texturized beyond usability
• 2 spoons- slobbered on, hidden, but not destroyed
• 2 pots sniffed, 1 licked
• 1 glass knocked into the sink.... you know.... just helping me out!



Insert words that rhyme with Chuck-it here!

• 1 knife, taken off of the counter via blade in mouth.  I am sure he was planning on hiding it to use as a shiv should I try to take any more banana's away from him.  

Me:  

• "Fergus!" repeated in varying degrees of exasperation and sometimes followed by other F-words
• Religiously doing dishes as they are used.... which could explain some of my crankiness (I detest doing dishes).
• Trying to find strategic placement for food items that are typically housed on the counter.
• Many, many sighs and grrr Arrrgh's..... to numerous to count.

Add to that 3 urine accidents and you get a picture of how my day was going yesterday.

A dramatic re-enactment of the Chuckit demise

Yesterday afternoon while working on a project I heard gnawing.  I glanced over and there was Fergus on the couch with an antler.  I went back to working.  The gnawing sound continued.  

My spidey senses must have been tingling, as  it was not long before I was compelled to go to the living room to really look a what Fergus was doing.  As it turns out the antler was a decoy.  He was really chewing on was the newly purchased Chuckit (a contraption that was invented to allow dog owners to throw balls farther and eliminate the need to handle said goobered balls).    I could feel my ire rising.  I started counting to 100.  As we were walking over to Fergus's crate, to start his time-out, I found his strategically placed booby-trap...

Surprise!  Urine accident #4!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!  

Fergus started his time-out.  I went for a nap.  

Side note about the Chuck-it.  This is the second Chuck-it.  The first Chuck-it was lost at the dog park last week when the Dogs decided to be arsehole-lee-o's before entering into the park.  As I was trying to get them under control, the Chuckit slipped out of my bag.  I did not realize until latter, but it was too late.  The Chuckit was gone.  Chuckit 2 lasted exactly one day before Fergus got his jaws on it..... see Exhibit A.

The Chuckit the day before....

The Chuckit post Ferg-i-fying

I decided to test out the Fergus's version of the Chuckit last night to see if was still usable.   It is... but it no longer picks-up the ball.   I will have remember to bring hand sanitizer the next time I use it.

Some pics from our Chuckit session last night:

"I don't know why we are running.  I am just following  you."

"Oh I get it... you have a ball!  

WHAT!!!!!

I must have the ball!!!!!!!!!"

"Are you dead??????? Blink once if you are still alive."

"Ha ha!  My plan worked.  I have the ball.

You can't have it!"

The day had turned around.  I was content.  The dogs were happy and tired which in turn relaxed me more..... sleeping dogs don't need supervision.

Then it happened.

I headed to bed and found out that the cat had jumped on the puddle-making band wagon.  

Yup!!!!!  

She peed the bed.

You know what I call that.......  synchronicity.  Start the day with pee.... end the day with pee.  

To think yesterday morning I was having a hard time coming up with a concept for my next blog.  Be careful what you put out in the universe.....  as it works in mysterious  and sometimes wet ways.

As for me.... I am focusing on the blessings that came out of yesterday.... dishes done; clean floors, dog love, chuckles and clean sheets!

Do you know what this is?

An F-Bomb in photo format!