How To Improve Your Odds At Underwear Roulette

A Wo- Man that is!!!!
Picture from www.shelteringsuburanmom.com

My brother and I found ourselves having a conversation about my underwear issues.  (Yes I agree, my brother is truly patient and suffers a lot from being related to me.)  Bro could not fathom the concept of underwear creepage, as his apparently stays put.   I could not believe my ears....

"Seriously!  You have never had a wedgie or an almost wedgie?????  I don't believe it."

He replied with a succinct "Nope!"  (He is a dude of few words.)

His theory was that men's underwear, gotch to be exact, was made to stay in place, where as woman's underwear was made to torture.  I decided to test out his theory and went a week wearing men's tighty whities.  

Guess what?????????    He was freakin' right.

Not once did the gotch even consider moving a millimeter out of place.  I instantly started thinking of all the advantages of making the permanent switch to men's briefs....

a.   It stays where you left it and does not develop a mind or mission of it's own as the day progresses.
b.  There is that handy little pouch in the front where I could keep my change and valuables.
c.  The extra fabric in front provides extra insulation in the winter time.
d.  Less thinking about which pair to wear in the morning; as it is designed to be a grab and wear vs a fashion statement.

The advantages go on and on.

But I am not one to abandon what I know on a whim.  I wanted to do more recon before making such a dramatic life change.

The first thing to test-  the front pocket.  I could foresee a future devoid of the need for money belts and purses.

No pockets?  No problem!

What's the point in having a pouch panel if you are not going to use it to it's fullest potential.  I was prepared to be thrilled.

Alas, it did not take long for my excitement over the underwear pocket to be extinguished.  What I failed to realize was the pouch runs the full length of the underwear.  That means stored cash, coins in particular, slides down toward the buttocks and results in your underpants jingling when you walk.

Hmm, maybe that is how Bo Jangles got his name.

The other obvious con to wearing men's briefs is the VGL (visible gotch line).  My brother laughed when I told him this.  He said.... "Well, maybe don't wear such tight pants."

I swear I don't wear tight pants.  Woman's pants are made from thin, stretch like material, it is meant to hug the hip and flare out from there.  Gotch, unlike ladies unmentionables, has a very thick edge around the leg holes-  probably the feature that keeps it in place.  The leg gripper region is perfectly hidden when wearing jeans, but very visible when wearing dress pants.

Unfortunately these two flaws outweigh all the advantages.   So until improvements are made I will continue to be a full-fledged wedgie picking pantie wearer.