In Case You Haven't Noticed, I'm Not Thumbellina!

Well the Corporate Fitness Challenge has produced many a group workout that requires the participants to assume and hold interesting positions all under the guise of "it's exercise".  The most heinous exercise to date required us, the participants,  to slip our arms in straps, hold the straps and then lift our legs up to our chest repeatedly over a 40 second period.  When the trainer first demonstrated I started snickering and then immediately started looking around trying to find the hidden cameras.

This had to be a joke..... Right?

I don't know for sure, but I hazard a guess that this  "fitness activity" is in the encyclopedia of Medieval torture right between the Rack and the Judas Cradle.

Zaftig- "fat in a pleasing way"- Merriam Webster 

The trainer insisted there would be no pressure on our arms or shoulders, that only our abs would get a work-out.   That maybe for the average munchkin or for Thumbellina, but when you are a zaftig woman there is absolutely positively no way that there will not be pressure on your arms when you are hanging from said appendages in a trapeze contraption.

See....there is a little thing call gravity!  

Obviously the trainer has not heard of it.  Just the mere physics of it all, supports the fact there is 10X's multiplying factor that has to be contended with.  Also applied to this formula is the fact I have very wimpy arms (they are just decorations on my body).  So 10 times my body weight + wimpy arms=  a body that is more on the floor than in the air.  I was able to lift my legs to my chest in this very awkward position, but it was not a pretty thing to behold.  Olympic gymnastic champion I will never be.

The next day I could not lift my arms up past 90 degrees.  Okay that is a slight exaggeration!  I could lift my arms up but the screech that accompanied this movement brought others running to me in a panic.  So for the interest of staff safety I kept my arms down for the next three days.  

All I can say is....  it is another thing I can cross off my bucket list.  It is not likely I will try it again any time soon.... unless Arnold Schwarzenegger agrees to an arm exchange or I take the Zaf out of the zaftig.  But if you feel you need a challenge to increase the size of your "pythons" or to sculpt your 6-pack......  have at 'er- you can take my spot in the rotation.   

I doff my cap to you Sir or Madam!