31 Day Work Detox

Hello-  My name is Max and I am a workaholic.  They say the toughest thing is admitting you have a problem and I do have that....... a problem.  I try to leave work at work but it is an itch that begs to be scratched.  I say over and over that I will not check my work email, but then I encounter some down time and before I know it I have unconsciously logged on to the work account.  I figure since it is open there is no harm in scanning the emails to see if there is anything important and needs my immediate attention.

Yup-  full fledged addict.

My table any given weekend

My official last day of work was Nov 28, 2014.  I was prepared to have five weeks of uninterrupted leisure time.  That was the plan on paper anyways.   As the clock ticked down to the start of my vacation my pulse rate increased along with my stress and my level of dread.  I had way too much unfinished work.   How could I leave and relax knowing I was leaving a disarray of paperwork.

Answer-  I couldn't.  I bit the bullet and decided to spend my first weekend of vacation getting caught up on outstanding reports and letters.... two very full days of work and I still did not get it all done.  I left the building on Sunday hesitant but determined I would not spend the rest of my vacation dwelling on the three things I did not get done.

So what!  The holiday started off rough but it could only get better right?

Dec 1- 4th I checked my emails at least seven times a day, if not more.   What?

I still had many, many days to relax- no sense in allowing my mailbox to expand to an unmanageable size.  Plenty of time to have fun.

By the 5th I realized if I let myself continue to be sucked into the work vortex I would be unofficially working the full holiday.  I had to detox...... and detox fast.  I should have just phoned a priest and had an exorcism or made an appointment to have a lobotomy.   That would have been the easy way out.

I thought I was strong, but my yearning to know what was going on was stronger.   By the 12th I had many slips but had also had a few days of not checking my email at all.  I employed the ancient technique of throwing myself into other projects with reckless abandon.  As long as my brain and body were busy, the desire to check emails was held in check.    But the minute there was a some down time I was fighting the urge to just peek at the email.... just a little bit..... not too much!

Desire and curiosity are powerful biatches!

As of today my desire to check my work email has been mentally whipped out of me.  All it took was 4 consecutive weeks off for my mind to de-program from work mode and enter into relaxation mode.

That is just plain sad.  

I joke that I have an Etch-a-sketch brain.... one that erases with a shake of the head.  Sadly this holiday has proven that I don't.  I  have faced the fact that I have been saddled with an elephant memory and an uber strong work ethic.  Both haunt me by periodically providing me with mental images of what I did not get done prior to leaving.  They are my kryptonite.  What I need to slay in order to enjoy a
few moments of blissful relaxation.

Now I have reached my final week of vacation my brain has decided to lead a revolt against returning to work.  It is like a two year old in midst of a full tantrum...... NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!   NO, NO, NO!!!!!  

Why?

Because I am finally on Vacay and am planning on enjoying every last second of it!

Peace on Earth.... and in my head!