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| Picture from US Magazine.com |
But the reality is more like this......
As you can see, there is a valid reason for his assumption.... he is a Golden. Unfortunately, the name of his breed does not provide him with any extra super-dog powers... no matter how much he tries to be a member of Marvel's Avenger Team.
Over the years I have experienced countless seconds of panic and shear terror and hours of worry. Here is a sampling of his "golden" moments.
4 months old- He decided that it would be a great idea to try and eat my Schick Quattro razor. This resulted in his swallowing one of the blades and me spending the next two days squishing bags of poo trying to make sure the blade came out. I am sure the neighbours thought I was loosing it.... "Yep Martha she is out there squishing poo bags again. Now she is jumping up and down, celebrating! Do you think we need to phone someone?"
4 months- present- I used to have a running total of all the socks, tights, etc. that he swallowed, regurgitated or passed. I stopped at 13 that was around about his 3rd birthday..... he is now 9. As he as aged he need to eat hosiery has decreased but very now and again, when my guard is down he surprises me. When Gimli arrived, I bought Golden Retrievers for Dummies. The book recommended pet insurance because Golden's are know to eat everything. So true.
You are probably wondering why I do not pick-up said items and put them out of the dogs reach. I trust me I do..... the rest of the furry herd i.e. the cat has taken to finding the socks and knocking them down for the dog. Are they working in tandem or is the cat secretly trying to kill the dog? This is an unsolved mystery.
11 months- We were chilling at a rest stop in Michigan. All of a sudden he noticed the long curved drive in. A light bulb thought bubble appeared over this head and I heard a ding as he turned and took off at full tilt down the drive. That was not enough for him. He hungered for more distance and speed. What's a dog to do?
Solution- turn and head down the middle of the highway with traffic coming at you from both directions. I was beside myself. He was not responding to my "YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU COMMMMMMMEEEEEE!" In his mind he was....
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| Picture courtesy of The Flash TV Series
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the fastest dog in the world. He was off and running, no cares in the world. There were beautiful butterflies floating by and the path was lined with unicorns. My frantic screaming put a halt to this reverie and he realized his presence was required else where. He returned cutting across the middle of the rest area, but before I could clip the leash on him he turned his head, noticed the road again and was off with a click of his heels. Repeat cycle.
Needless to say he lost off leash privileges after that little escapade.
1 1/2 years- He decided to eat fungi on a back-packing trip. The fungi was poisonous. He was gravely ill and was cyanotic for weeks after. Milk Thistle to the rescue. Now when back-packing the dog has his own First Aid kit. Sadly he feels the need to create situations so it can be used each trip. It's a good thing it is well stocked.
5 yrs- There is something about curved and "L" shaped roads that floats Gimli's boat. He is attracted to them and for whatever reason feels the need to run full tilt when he sees this type of configuration. Could he turn to the left and run down the non-traffic side.
Noooooooooooo!
Where would the fun be in that. No he always heads to the right to run across 4 lanes of a highly used street to stand on the other side. When he notices that I am not following he runs back across. Now as an observer your heart is in your mouth, your stomach is flipping and "S" and "F" words are coming out of your mouth involuntarily. He has only done this twice but it is two times too many. The last time the cars stopped and waited for him to cross. Apparently his running high clouds his awareness of his environment, as he ran directly into the side of a car that stopped to let him pass safely. That was a "Du Oh" moment.
7 yrs- He decided he needed X-rays two months in a row. He ate a stick of butter, an ice cream sundae, a steak, a bake-potato (foil and all) and a bar of soap. Of concern was the fact that to the best of my knowledge the foil had not come out and he became sick. X-rays revealed no foil present. (Please note that this was at his Grandparents house- He was under their supervision not mine)
The next month he decided to eat 2/3's of a bag of Cat in the Hat fridge magnets. I wish I had the X-rays to post. Very sparkly!! (Again please note it was Grandma who left the bag of magnets on the ground.... not me)
He now has a reputation at the Vet. As soon as I come in they ask.... "What has he eaten now?"
8 yrs- During another back-packing trip, he decided he was a member of the flying Wallenda's and leaped off the top of a 6-foot rock only to land on his stomach on the edge of the rock that was 3-feet below it. That contributed to a long night in the middle of the bush worrying that he might be bleeding internally. Gimli of course decided to self-medicate and ate some hidden fungi (I think he was a truffle pig in a previous life as he can find fungi like no one's business). Was the resulting twitching and night terrors a result of hallucinogenic mushrooms he ate or internal injuries? I will never know. All I know was it was a very, very long night for me and we both made it out safe and sound the next day.
9yrs- Last week was the kicker of all kickers when it comes to Gimli-capades. I was going out of town for work so he had to stay at the kennel. We arrived at the kennel just as a snow squall hit. He likes the kennel and snow... so his transition into the paddocks was not an issue. He was busy running around sniffing out remnants of pee-mail when we both realised at the same time.... the gate was not closed. He beat me to the gate- he is the dog version of the Flash.... was there really any hope that I, a mere human, would be able to beat him. He ran out into the yard and that is when he spotted the "L"-shaped lane.
Now you are probably thinking "Oh crap!!!!!". I know I was.
Before I even had "Gim" out of my mouth he was down the long lane and on the highway, running into on coming traffic. By the time I made it to the end of the lane he was about 500- 700 metres down the highway on the opposite side.
That is when two things happened. He stopped and turned and I noticed the semi. Now I could barely see him in the white-out conditions I hoped the Semi who was closer would be able to make out that he was there. Before I could react, Gimli darted across the road on his way back to me. There were two tense filled seconds while I waited to see if he was fast enough to beat the Semi. Thank the Lord he was. Then there were some more angst filled moments while he kept pace with the Semi down the highway until he ended up in my arms and the confines of his collar.
I definitely do not want to relive anything like that in the near future. I still get the shakes thinking about it.
Lessons you can learn from this post- the power of prayer works, gates are a gals best friend as long as they are closed, Gimli is like Mikey of commercial fame- He'll eat anything and socks and fungi can be delicacies for dogs so beware.
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