AHHHHHHHHHH SUGAR FUDGE NUGGETS!!!!!!
I just managed to spill steaming hot tea down the front of me.
HOTTTTTTTTTT!
Side note- searing liquid burning into your flesh is definitely a jump starter to the day. I think I even did a little jig.
So anyway back to the regularly scheduled blog.....
Back in the day, the Graphic (local newspaper) would print a song book that contained every Christmas Carol that was ever written. I lived for the annual delivery of this insert. See what was a mere collection of words on paper, for most, was a symbol of hope for me. I intuitively knew this book of song had the potential to be my salvation..... a way for me to fulfill my life long dream of being in the school choir.
Ohhh yes...... the school choir!!!!
The hippest of hip were in the school choir and I desperately wanted to be part it and the choir crowd. My desire to be choir member was so strong I forgot that I had perpetual social anxiety, did not like to perform in front of others and had an overwhelming fear of not being good enough. If I was a member of the choir I could be anyone and do anything.... I would be invincible!!!!
Each Fall I would sign up to audition for the choir, with the hope of hope, that this year would be the year that I would be selected. I vividly remember my anxiety building as I awaited my turn to audition in the hall. The long, long walk from the door to the piano. My anticipation and burgeoning anxiety growing with every step I took toward the piano and Mr. Chen (the music teacher). What seemed like an eternity of waiting for the introductory chords to "Land of the Silver Birch"- the choir audition song, to be played.
Each year I would launch into song, inwardly praying that this year would be the year that I would selected to be part of the choir. Each year I would be crushed when I would look at the list and my name was not on it. It seems my musical abilities were an acquired taste. Even my poor mother could not handle my melodic interpretation of the hits of yesteryear. Too often I would hear- "Who is killing a cat!!!!!" when I was "practicing" for my audition.
What could a young girl do?
My desperation and desire were too big and my vocal talent too small.
That is when it hit me.... what I needed was a Christmas miracle. Everyone knows that magical things happen during the Christmas season. It was time that I claim some of that magic for myself.
Enter the Graphic Christmas Carol song book.
Every night after the song book arrived until Christmas Day I would set the stage for my Christmas miracle to occur. After finishing supper I would bundle up, grab the paper song book and would head out into the blustering cold of the prairie night to stand beneath the dull glow of the back porch light and I would sing. I would sing like my life depended on it. I sang from the soul.
At first I imagined I was a member of an elite door to door carolling group that was sought after to perform. Everyone one wanted this group to perform, their eyes welling with tears as we sang about Christmas and magic and little baby Jesus. It did not take long for my imagination to up the ante and that is when my brain gave birth to the absolute ultimate dream of dreams......
I would be singing a classic hit like "Good King Wenceslas" or "Come All Ye Faithful" as Mr. Chen was driving down the street. His keen musical ear would pick-up the delightful tinkle of music in the air. He would feel compelled to roll down his window, despite the bitter cold, desperate to hear more of the angelic sounds. He would be thinking- "What is this I hear... I have NEVER heard such a voice as this. I can not stop listening. It maybe -30 with a windchill but that voice.... that magnificent voice warms me from the inside. I must find this singer. That possessor of this powerful voice will be the saviour of our school choir!!!!!" He would abandon his vehicle and spurned on by his desire, nay need, to find this god send of a singer, he would comb the streets until he happened around the corner of our house and found me there lit by the glow of the porch light. He would fall to his knees with tears in his eyes and would beg for my forgiveness.... for not recognizing my talents sooner. He would insist that I immediately join the choir in a lead role. My life would be complete and I would be jubilant knowing that my talents had finally been recognized. Ahhhhh... I sigh thinking about it and my chest still puffs up in pride at the thought of what could have been. Alas, my Christmas miracle was never actualized. But man do I have a kick-ass repertoire of Christmas Carols and some fond memories to reminisce about.
BLOG PROLOGUE- For all the kiddo's reading this.... I want you to know although my Christmas miracle did not happen I finally made the choir in my final year of try-outs. All you need is a little patience, perseverance and practice, practice, practice and you can reach your goals. Either that or you just wear them down, until they finally accept what you know... you have a talent- yes you do!
 |
| Merry Christmas to all and to all a Christmas Miracle!!! |
No comments:
Post a Comment