It's a Dog's Life.... The Waiting Game!

This post is written entirely by Fergus, the youngest of the furry herd.  The poor dude has to exercise his patience on a regular basis therefore I thought it would be fitting to let him "write" the end of week blog.

"What the hell time is it?????? Where am I?????"  Friggin' Bill (the last remaining cat) and his need to announce that he will be gracing us with his presence.   Does he not realize that it is 3....AM!  What a bastard!!!!!   You would think he would know by now that all it does is get "She With the Three Mouths" bitchier than bitchy...... 

Yup!  

He succeeded.  Three Mouths is swearing and locking  Bill out.... banishing him downstairs, yet again.

Sigh!!!! Can't a dog get any peace and quiet?  I can't wait until I am Gimli's age and my hearing goes.  He seems to be able to sleep through anything and everything unless it is the food dish being filled.  

Nappy time is claiming me again........  Ruff!

My Puppy senses are a tingling..... yes siree..... Three Mouths is stirring.

Yippeeeee!!!!! We are getting up.  It's morning!!!! Outside.... outside...... OUTSIDEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mmmmm the smells!  It snowed overnight.  Ohhh Chloe's been by..... and Russell that scamp!  He always leaves the bestest peemail messages.  

Drat!  Three Mouths is bellowing at the door.  Guess I need to cut my exploration .... what's that????  Must check it out!  

Ohh shit Three Mouths is counting.  That is never good... better saunter over to the door before she puts her shoes on.  That is NEVER a good scene when she has to come and get me.

Oh..... oh.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Three Mouths is getting dressed.  

She is getting dressed.  

She has on her pants...... there's the top......

Fudgeoo I know what is happening........

yes..... Yes........YEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Sweet Mother of Pearl we are going for a walk!!!!  

A WALLLLKKKKKK! I think I might pee myself..... 

Wha! 

Where is Three Mouths going.  She is heading to the green room.  That's not downstairs.   Now she is stroking the beast in the corner and it is now making beeping noises.  It seems happy to see her.  

Cute Beams on High!

Three Mouths won't even pay attention to me.  She is intent on stepping up on the beast.  

Stop..... stop....STTTTOOPPPPP!

She's done it!   She is walking on the beast.  

Uhhhhhhhh HELLOOOOOOOOO!  

It's called outside!

We can all walk and you can delight in telling me everything that I am doing wrong..... you know our schtick!  I run ahead and pull your arm.  You scream "Tooo far" and I jump back and try to take your legs out from under you...... Good times,   good times.

Seriously!  What is so good about walking on the spot.  I tried it!  I didn't care for it.  There are no fresh scents to explore.  

BORING!!!!!!!!  

Hmmmm.....  maybe if I sit here really cute and patient Three Mouths will realize she is wasting her time on that elliptical thingee and what she needs is to be outside. 

Hello dejection my ole' friend

COME ON #@%$#@!!

Nothing!

I am bring full on cute and not even a glance!

UNACCEPTABLE.

If you need me I will be sulking in the corner.... not that you care!  

I shouldn't have peaked.  

She doesn't care..... I will die alone... there will be no more peemail for me...... my life is ruined......RUINED  I say!

The beast has quit beeping!  Holy Lord..... Three Mouths is stepping down.  

Whoot Whoot!!!!!   

I love you.  I love you, I love you. 

Now that's what I am talking about!

Ummmm do you not see my belly.  A little less stretching and a little more petting.  

PET ME!  NOW!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ belly rubs are the bestest of bestestes!

Three Mouths!  Did you know that you are sweating?  Here let me get that for you!  No I insist.  Hold still you are making it near impossible for me to help you get rid of those glistening beads of salty yumminess!

Geez' you would think that Three Mouths doesn't care about grooming and appearance the way she is trying to avoid me.  Pushing me away..... trying to turn my head..... telling me to "Leave it!".  

Ohhh Three Mouths you are soooooooo very funny!

Salty!  Me like!

Okay.... walk time!

WHAT in Golly gee wilikers is she doing.   

A SHOWER!   

HELLO!!!!  

Why do you need one of those.  I just groomed you my dear!  

Paw to forehead!   

I give up!  I'm going back to bed!!!!!!!!!

I say good day to you Three Mouths......

Why do I even bother to get out of bed?

I said good day!

So long my peeps! May you have greater luck than I getting walked today.