Tally-Ho, On The Road to Rally-O!

Yes my peeps it has been a while.  I have been working on a few posts that aren’t quite ready, but the main reason for the lull in posts has been because I have been working on getting three of the furry herd ready for the show season.  It’s that time of year, when I get all jittery with excitement and my nerves start to get the best of me. I try to convince myself that I am just out there to have fun, but the fiscally responsible part of my brain can’t help but think of all the money that I just shelled out and the desire to recoup costs starts to outweigh the fun factor.  It isn’t long before my inner competi-monster comes out to play and I push for perfection with the ultimate hope that they give me at least 75% on the day of the trial.  

The one disadvantage to living where we do is there are not a lot of dog shows offered, which means we have to travel a fair distance to attend.  As a result, the start of our show season is delayed until the risk of encountering adverse weather is very low.  April in Muskoka seemed to fit all my requirements- low risk of snow, 4 trials to make it worth the 6 hr drive and the chance to see some amazing Rally teams work together to crush courses.   Entry submitted,  I upped the training schedule as much as I could. 

The last training session before the show was an absolute sugar show.  It was like Ferg forgot all the signs, Hazel was more focused on chasing leaves than listening and Lyndy tried to anticipate what was coming, but guessed wrong more times than she was right.   My angst and frustration mounted with each moment and the only thing that kept the F-Bombs contained was I was training in the parking lot of a Church and there were people milling around.  I’m sure the Big JC was pleasantly surprised by the restraint that I demonstrated. 

My self-regulation challenges weren’t just related to training frustrations, my work schedule lately has been monumental, requiring me to work long days and on the weekends just to keep remotely close to be caught up on visits and documentation.  I slog away at work into early evening, rush home and try to get some training in before lessons, teaching and/or sleep time… repeat ad nausem. 

At least they have a consistent down stay!

When I registered I felt I had tons of time to get everyone ready, but we somehow fell into a time warp and before I knew it, it was the evening before the show and I still hadn’t packed, let alone bought all the essentials I needed for travel.   

Eeeeeek!!!!

Okay, no need to panic, you got this!  I started cobbling together a mental To Do list as I drove home.  There is something so comforting about having a plan of action.  I was home maybe 10 minutes before Brie decided to throw a monkey wrench into the plan by watering the couch.  

Yup!  I walked into the living room to see a puddle of pee seeping into the couch cover.  Oh the blistering string of curse words that came out of my mouth would have made a sailor blush, as I frantically stripped the layers off the couch to stop seepage through to the bottom layer.  I wasn’t fast enough which meant packing was replaced by laundry and deep cleaning.  While elbow deep in scrubbing, another one of the furry herd thought it would be an awesome idea to pee and poo in the front hall.  

Crikey!  At least I had the cleaning supplies out.

Due to my unexpected surprises I wasn’t able to finish some of the critical tasks that needed to be done before leaving.  Critical tasks such as shopping for cushiony footwear, securing more crates, poo bags and snacks.   I should have known given the night before, that is was too much to expect the morning to go smoothly.  It took forever to find a pair of shoes.  One pair would fit lefty like a glove, but righty slipped and slid.  The next pair were too tight all around. Pair three was the opposite of pair one.  I tried on pair after pair of both female and male shoes.  As the boxes started to form a fort around me, I thought I would be stuck competing in my “dead” pair of shoes.  Saucony, Keen, Salomon, Merrell had all left me high and dry.  Hope was fading and I was inwardly lamenting about all the wasted time when I saw a pair of Asics off to the side of the shoe display… could they be the ones?  I slid lefty in and he instantly fell in love, but lefty is a push over at the best of times.  The true test was going to be how righty reacted.  Thank the Lord it was toes up for righty as well. After close to an hour of searching, Cinderella had finally found her competition shoes!!!  

Shoes squared away, I darted off to Pet Smart to pick-up two more collapsible crates for the show.  I know, I know, I know!!!!  How many crates does one person need for three dogs.  You would think the answer would be three but in actuality the magic number is 5 at a minimum.   Five crates would allow me to leave two crates at the venue and have three for the hotel.  Luckily crate shopping went faster than shoe shopping, but in my rush I forgot to purchase the much needed poo bags.  It wasn’t until I was almost home that I remembered about this necessity.  No problem I thought, I could pick-up bags on the way out of town.  I sped shopped in the grocery store and headed home to finish packing my clothes, the dogs gear, food and load-up the truck.

The first thing that I noticed when I walked in the door was the floor was wet.  At first I thought the three that were free had been drooling in anticipation of our trip.  It didn’t take long for the tangy smell of pee to correct my assumption.  Someone had peed but in such a way that the urine hit the grout line and directed the pee North, South, East and West to ensure the flooring received maximum coverage. 

SERIOUSLY!!!!  I guess I’m not the only one who needs to pee when I feel nervous. 

The herd received a rant lecture as I cleaned and there may or may not have been threats to return all their sorry hides to the Breeder, as I had had enough.   

How far behind schedule was I?

The original plan was to be on the road by 9:00 am and by the time I managed to get the truck packed and the herd loaded and we were on the road by 1:00 pm… 6 hours behind schedule.   We had to make a quick stop on route to drop Wee and Brie at the Farm.  I’m sure I heard the Ladies breath a sigh of relief as they exited the truck… finally some breathing room.  Four large dogs in the back with crates is a very tight fit.  Ferg being the biggest, lucked out and had shot-gun privileges. Not that he appreciated it, he would have preferred to be in the back with the Ladies for company and kept shooting longing looks at them over the seat while I drove.

It was about 40 minutes into the journey that I realized with all my rushing, I had forgotten to pick-up poo bags.  I started to panic as I was dangerously low and didn’t know what I would do if I couldn’t purchase any up before arriving at the hotel.  Siri came to the rescue and located a Pet Valu in Parry Sound, that we could easily make it to before closing.  Added bonus, I took advantage of the unplanned stop to switch out Ferg for Hazel, as they both were stressed by where they were sitting in the truck.

Siri did so well with helping me find the pet store I asked her to map out a route to Gravenhurst from Parry Sound.  I don’t know what I did to piss her off, but Siri decided to give me the silent treatment that resulted in my missing the turn off for Gravenhurst.  I doubled back and tried again.  I asked Siri to remap the route, which she did.  She started giving instructions at regular intervals and I was feeling confident.  It turns out that she was lulling me into a false sense of security before she played her master arsehole card.

Shortly after Port Carling, Siri directed me to  turn off the main road onto a side road.   This  seemed suspect… so much so that I pulled over and reasked for directions.  She re-affirmed that her original route was indeed where I should be heading.  I put my faith in Siri and continued on.  Before I knew it I was in back woods Muskoka with large homes, windy hilly narrow roads with only flocks of wild turkeys and deer for company.  

My stress levels were sky rocketing as I had no idea where I was , nor how to get to where I was going and the daylight was staring to fade.  Hazel seemed to pick-up on my stress and kept pacing and jamming herself into my side.  It was pro-social stressing at its best, each of us feeding off of each other’s energy.  All I wanted was for her to lay down and rest but I couldn’t convince her to do so for longer than a few minutes.  Before long she was back to crowding me and I felt my anxiety and frustration grow with each breath.  It was around this time that she provided me with something else to focus on, she somehow managed to figure out how to undo my seat belt.  The first time she did it, I laughed as what are the odds that a dog could undo a seat belt.  By the 30th time I was convinced she was trying to kill me!!!!    Did I mention the windy, hilly roads, turkeys and deer?  Possible death loomed around each corner.

I tried to get Siri to re-map a route but she ignored me.  I even tried my patented super cheery “Haaaayyy Sirriii!” and she wouldn’t respond.  

Picture it-  Back woods Muskoka… Hazel trying to kill me, Siri on the fritz and me lost.   I was close to tears and would have pulled over, if there had been a shoulder on the road.  But there wasn’t.  I decided to try Siri one more time and thankfully she was over her snit and provided me with accurate instructions to Gravenhurst.  As I entered town limits she decided to be difficult again and had me driving around in a circle in a parking lot looking for the hotel which wasn’t there.  I decided to take my chances and drove back to the main road, once I turned onto it I clocked the hotel in my periphery… F-U Siri!

The Herd scoping out the joint

My luck changed when I made it to the HoJo.  The night clerk felt bad about my “Wilds of Muskoka” experience and given I had three dogs with me, he upgraded my room at no extra cost.  The new room was on the ground floor with direct access to the parking lot and it was large and swanky.  I could have fit 8 crates easily in the room, there was a kitchenette, the bedding was luxurious and the mattress was like sleeping on a cloud.  As soon as I settled in all my stress and tension melted away and I finally felt like I was on vacation.

In true vacation form we decided to make the most of what little day light was left and took a leisurely stroll down the main drive to stretch our legs and to check out the sights. We didn’t get more than 1 km from the hotel when we picked up a stalker… of the canine variety.  A small dog became enamoured of the herd and would not turn back.  It followed us for a few blocks until we crossed the tracks.   Satisfied that we were out of its’ turf it turned around and headed home.   

By this time, night had settled in and the bed was calling me so we turned around and headed back to the hotel.  We all needed to rest up for Saturday’s game day!