FFFF-Plop- The Creation of a New Sport

It has been pointed out that it has been many moons since I have delivered a 50 for 50 post.  There is a main reason for this which will be detailed in a later blog, but until that post is finished I will entertain you with this morning's adventure.

What's a Hazel?

It started like any other morning.  I, bleary eyed from getting up in the night to let out Hazel, roll out of bed to let the other beasties out to relieve themselves.   I never worry about Ferg, as he is safely secured to the front rail with a tie out rope.  The other two are a different story.  Whisper, proving she is a bird dog through and through, has a fascination with ducks.  There is a family of ducks that is living two doors down.  I can see you all doing the mental math... bird dog.... ducks... this scenario is ripe with possible disaster.   On any given day there is a 50% chance that Whisper will listen and stay in the yard which means 50% of the time she pulls a Usain and bolts two doors down or out into the park in a mad dash attempt to go a huntin'.  Yes there is nothing like yelling "Whisper" to start ones day! 

Now the trainers who are reading this will say the easy solution is to put her on leash and I agree.   The only problem is she will not do her business when on leash unless it is during a long walk and call of nature overrides her brains fixation on being attached to me.   Given I don't always have the time to do a long walk in the morning and I don't particularly like to freeze my giblets off waiting for her not to go when on the leash, only to go when she goes in the house, I have had to modified my expectations.  My goal right now is to improve her reliability of staying in the yard by experimenting.   Where in the yard is the threshold/boundary that improves the odds that she will stay put while doing her business.  I am happy to report that we discovered the threshold this morning.  The celebration was short lived, because as life would have it when you solve one problem another pops up.

Hazel, who has been fantastic staying within the confines of the yard, was drawn to a coffee cup on the road.  I tried calling her back but she took off for the cup.  I was in hot pursuit and as I leaned down to scoop her up my foot slipped. A thin layer of snow covered the icy mud puddle beneath the cup.  I went down hard and my weighty arse broke the surface of the ice and sank into the ice hole.  

There I lay, trying to defend the spilled coffee from Hazel and  Whisper, who decided to join the fun.  All the while my pants continued to soak up the frosty moisture of the puddle.  FUN,  FREEEZING... FFFFF were the words of the morning.

I somehow managed to keep dogs both away from the frozen coffee treat while extricating my sodden butt from the puddle and returning to a respectable upright position.   As I trudged back to the warmth of the house my attention was split between trying to keep gravity from pulling my droopy drawers down and taking stock of all my new aches and pains.    The grand tally was : a nasty ice gash to my right thumb, a scrape on my left palm and a very sore left wrist which is most likely sprained.

I took one last look over my shoulder at accident scene and that is when I realized another poor unsuspecting sod also had an early morning ice-capade.  Beside the spilled coffee cup was the brown cup holder.  He/She was probably tra-la-laing down the street regaling in the quiet of the early morning, enjoying sips of their hot beverage when their foot hit the ice and they when ass over tea kettle up in the air landing on the hard ground sans coffee.    Two unsuspecting fools having their blissful mornings hi-jacked by snow covered ice.

This and the snow mould are reasons why I do not like spring!!!!''

So there you have a new sport has been created FFF- Plop.  It has all the excitement and fast paced action of ice hockey but combines it with water sport and coffee drinking as well.  I don't think it will take off but who knows.  

Update:  I just went outside to take a picture of the sporting arena and someone had already cleaned up the coffee cup and holder.  My butt hole has also iced over.  But low and behold what did I find... the original ice tumbler lost $3.05 when they fell.  My wet feet to retrieve the moolah were worth it!!!  Just like that I graduated from being an amateur FFF-Plop player to a professional!  It must be my natural talent for falling.... I always knew I could parlay it into cash.

Well off to start my laundry and ice my wrist.